People love the holidays, but they can cause a lot of stress. From event planning to coordinating with family arrivals, the holidays demand emotional and mental energy, which can easily deplete. Not to mention, the energy one must exert to entertain can physically drain the body. What does that mean for a relationship at the end of the day?

It’s very common to have a relationship take a backseat to the rest of the goings-on during the holidays. One or both partners may not even classify the relationship as a priority. Additionally, one person in the relationship may gain more joy out of the holiday festivities, while the other person just grinds through them. It’s fine to avoid Christmas music in the car or conversing with specific family members, for example, but it’s not acceptable to neglect the relationship. It’s important to carve out time to nurture the relationship, focusing intently on each party. Learn how to do that during the holiday hustle and bustle with the following tips. 

Be Curious

When you’re busy, it’s quite common to be swept up by your own schedule. A busy schedule isn’t an excuse to avoid inquiring about your partner’s day or feelings, though. There isn’t a requirement to ask your partner about every single aspect of their day, but maintaining curiosity can help care for the flame in a relationship. You can always learn something new about your partner, especially if their environment or personality changes. A simple, “Tell me about the best and worst parts of your day,” can go a long way. Not only will you start up a conversation and learn more, but you’ll also maintain an intimate connection.

Skip Some Of The Parties

Some people live for holiday parties. From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, the invitations roll in and it can be overwhelming if you try to attend all of them. It’s quite common that one person in the relationship will get annoyed by all the socializing, so don’t overcommit and attend all of the parties. Talk to one another about the parties you really want to attend and the ones that you’d be happy to miss. Sometimes, avoiding the party and taking time for just the two of you is more beneficial. Consider dinner and a movie or simply spend the night at home and relax. 

Listening Dates

Speaking of spending the night at home, why not turn it into a listening date? Similar to being curious about your partner, sometimes it’s integral to just sit down and listen as intently as possible. Set a time and make sure you put away your phones, so as not to be distracted while the other person is talking. Don’t have the TV on, either! Look your partner in the eyes and listen quietly, allowing them to vent or simply tell you about their day. This exercise helps the person feel heard and it can actually strengthen your relationship. 

Create Boundaries With Family

Extended family coming and going throughout the holidays can take a toll on a relationship. Different family dynamics can press all sorts of buttons! No matter how healthy or dysfunctional the family is, it’s important to establish boundaries in order to avoid tension, stress, and hurt feelings. Have a conversation with your partner about being on the same team and make a plan together. You can decide what to do if certain issues come up. It’s impossible to predict what people are going to say, but you can have a plan to redirect the conversation away from polarizing topics. Lastly, each partner should communicate boundaries with their own families, so that that responsibility doesn’t fall on the other person. 

Have Fun

Carve out time for fun this holiday season because there are so many activities that can bring joy. One of the best ways to connect with a partner is through laughter, fun, and play. Head to an outdoor ice skating rink or consider a holiday lights tour. You can even go to a mini golf place! If you want to be more low key, you can stay at home and play some cards or walk through the neighborhood holding hands on a cold night. Remember, fun exists even in the most ordinary places. 

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The bright lights and holiday cheer may inspire joy and feelings of love for a lot of people, but not everyone. This time of year can bring about feelings of isolation, grief, loneliness, and sadness, especially for people with clinical or seasonal depression. 

Psychiatrists explain that depression can occur around the holidays for numerous reasons. The holidays increase thoughts of family, social engagement, and relationships. If there are issues within those dynamics in people’s lives, depression can rise to the surface. The holidays also tend to demand more family time than usual, which can be highly stressful for some people. Family events may cause old conflicts, emotions, or situations to arrive that can be very difficult to navigate. 

How To Manage Depression During The Holidays

For many people, the winter can trigger seasonal affective disorder, or seasonal depression. Unlike traditional depression, seasonal depression occurs in a seasonal pattern, typically worsening in darker fall and winter months. Practicing good self-care is essential year round, but it is extra important during the holidays. You can combat lack of energy, fatigue, and other symptoms with various coping strategies and self-care practices. Whatever the cause of your depression, we hope the following tips can help you cope.

Assess Your Relationships And Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a crucial element of self-care, especially for your emotional and mental health. The boundaries you set will depend on the different people in your life and the situations that you’ll encounter during the holidays. Maybe you limit the time you spend with certain people who cause you to feel negative emotions or heighten depressive symptoms. Establish boundaries for these people and set availability for them as well. Your time and mental health are paramount! If you struggle with setting boundaries, click here for some helpful tips. 

Create A Coping Sheet

A coping sheet is a list of your favorite activities that you can turn to when you feel down. Create your own coping sheet or develop one with your family members or therapist. Many coping sheets are filled with actions that can help manage depressive symptoms. Some popular things to include on your coping sheet are:

• Listening to music
• Painting 
• Meditating
• Singing
• Breathing techniques
• Positive self-talk
• Journaling
• Acupuncture

Get Outdoors And Stay Active

According to many studies, moving the body is one of the best ways to cope with depression, regardless of the season. One meta-analysis of 218 studies concluded that exercise is an effective way to manage depression. This was especially true for jogging, walking, strength training, and yoga. Exercise combined with psychotherapy proved to be the most effective way to experience depression relief. Researchers found that getting outside while engaging in exercise relieved depressive symptoms even more. Spending time in nature can help reduce risk of depression. One study found that time spent in green environments reduced the risk of anxiety and depression in the long run. Consider planning some fun, holiday outdoor activities. Go ice skating, snowboarding, sledding, or hiking, depending on where you live and what is available to you. 

Share How You Are Feeling With Loved Ones

During the holiday season, mental health experts recommend that you surround yourself with people you can rely on. These people can be family members or friends who can help you manage holiday depression. Reach out to people you trust and share how you are feeling. It’s impossible to know how friends or family will react, but the people who love you will be there for you no matter what. Confide in them about how you are feeling and they will most likely offer empathy, or share similar experiences that may help you feel less alone. Do not underestimate the power of community and love. People want to help, so just ask.

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The holidays are a wonderful time to reconnect with family, but it can be difficult to juggle different personalities, parties, and your own mental health. A report from the National Alliance of Mental Health found that 64% of people living with mental illness experienced worse symptoms during the holidays. On top of that, 38% of adults find that the festive season causes stress levels to rise. Although the holidays can bring as much stress as they do joy, there are mindful tips to help you manage stress this season. 

End of the year projects, gift shopping, the arrival of family members, and traveling to see family members don’t make the holidays any easier. There are added expectations and responsibilities, which can seem unattainable. All of this can cause you to spiral out of control and into a bout of depression or anxiety. Basically, there are so many things to do with a lot less time, which is a naturally overwhelming situation. 

Take Care Of Yourself First

In order to make it through the holidays without falling apart, you have to make your mental health a top priority. It’s so easy to try to support everyone else and neglect yourself during the holidays. Shift your focus to yourself this holiday season and you may find that you have the extra energy to support others when they need it. The following tips should help invite more mindfulness into your life, helping you emerge from the holidays triumphant and less-stressed than you were in previous years. 

Respond With Kindness

It’s impossible to change how others act as a result of holiday stressors. You can, however, change how you respond to certain situations. If you encounter a difficult person, it is important to remind yourself that they may be suffering. That is why they are acting out towards you, and showing them some compassion may calm them or bring them back down to earth. The holidays are also difficult for people who are alone, so extend an act of kindness to those without family or friends this time of year. 

Set And Maintain Firm Boundaries

This goes back to caring for yourself first because an effective way to reduce holiday stress is to communicate with people in your life. Whether you’re at home or at work, establishing healthy boundaries can lead to stronger relationships and more energy. You can say yes to things, but it’s also acceptable, encouraged even, to say no to things. Once you identify your boundaries you need to maintain mental and emotional stability, you can communicate them to others. If you explain why you need to decline an offer, for example, your friends or family should respect that decision.

Reach Out

It is very easy to put yourself in the vulnerable position of reaching out to others. Do you know what typically happens if you surround yourself with good people, though? When you reach out to them, they will most likely be happy to talk and connect. Many people share the same stress and fear of the holiday season, and talking about that with another person can benefit you tremendously. Call a friend out of the blue, message old friends on social media, and be kind to those you encounter. Companionship is beautiful and talking with other people may help reduce their stress levels as well.

Set Your Differences Aside

Dealing with different personalities and opinions can be quite exhausting, especially when you’re already burnt out. Don’t add fuel to your fire by combatting family members or friends, even if they eat away at you. There is a time and place to discuss politics or opinions on certain matters, and the holiday season is not the right time. If others get upset when something goes awry, they are likely feeling the same holiday stress, so don’t enter a state of anger or distress. Talk with them and you may find some calming common ground. 

Rethink Your Resolutions

How do New Year’s resolutions relate to holiday stress? Well, this is the time of year when people start thinking about changes they want to make in the coming year. Do yourself a favor: don’t make resolutions that set you up for failure. Start small and break your goal into small steps that you can achieve over the course of the entire year. If weight loss is your goal, you don’t need to lose 20 pounds before January comes to a close. Try to eat more vegetables in January and slowly cut back on sweets or carbs throughout the next month. An impossible resolution will only cause you more stress.

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It can be very difficult to see a partner, a friend even, struggling with their mental help. They fall into a slump and that can strain the relationship. For anyone in a long-term relationship, a mental health slump will likely occur at some point. In fact, about 50% of Americans will experience some form of mental illness at some point during their lifetime. 

How do you approach a partner who is experiencing a mental health slump? There are supportive strategies that can be highly beneficial for both of you. Just remember that you are there for your partner, even in times of hardship. Continue reading to learn how you can help support a partner who is struggling.

No Toxic Positivity Allowed

There is no need to be an ever-positive ray of sunshine when it comes time to help a partner in need. There is no need to say things like, “Be positive!” Don’t remind them how much they have to be grateful for because that will usually cause them to feel shame. It may also make them feel as though you misunderstand their situation. 

Do Not Ignore The Situation

Ignoring something does not make it go away. The last thing you want to do is bottle up feelings and hope for the best, and you shouldn’t want that for your partner either. Do not ignore your partner’s mental health slump because that will only cause them to feel more isolated. Begin the dialogue and proceed in a gentle way.

Begin The Conversation Sensitively

Ideally, you should approach this conversation with a sensitive and delicate touch. Your partner is in a fragile state, so begin with a phrase like, “I’ve been thinking about you and I’m curious how you are doing.” You can also say something like, “I care about you and want to be here for you.” Ask if there is a special way that you can support them, as you may not be aware of how to do that.

Be Clear On How They Want To Be Supported

Everyone requires their own solutions for their given difficulties. Some people may choose or not choose to accept support. That is why it is paramount for you to get clear about your partner’s needs. Perhaps they need you to just be there and be silent, or you take walks together. Understanding and respecting your partner during their mental health challenges will only strengthen the connection between both of you. Plus, your relationship will remain in better standing as you support them, while also allowing them to experience their own symptoms. 

Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice

It is almost human nature to offer advice or suggestions when someone is in need. There is a time and place for advice, though. Sometimes, the best advice you can give is nothing at all. Oftentimes, your presence and quiet time is appreciated above all else. Just be there for your partner, show them respect, and understand that they are going through a mental health slump. Your relationship will likely become stronger when you offer your support and allow them to work through their depressive symptoms.

Validate Your Partner

People usually crave validation and safety in times of hardship. They want to feel love and there is nothing wrong with them wanting that. Even if your partner feels shame, confusion, or anger, use phrases like, “I can see that you are struggling and how much effort you’re putting forth.” You can also say something like, “What you are saying and feeling is understandable.”

Make Plans To Do Something Fun

It is very common for mental health issues to tell the person lies. For example, a person’s mind may tell them that they will not enjoy an activity that usually invites joy. You should suggest and plan activities that can help shift your partner’s energy. If they are really against the suggestion, though, do not force them to engage. Your suggestions can be very low-maintenance, such as going for a walk or hike, playing a board game, or getting a massage. 

Know Your Own Limits

For your own mental health, make sure that you know where the line in the sand is. There is a distinction between being a partner and being your partner’s therapist. You can always encourage your partner to find support, be that in the form of a therapist, life coach, or support group. That doesn’t mean that you abandon your partner; rather, it just reaffirms the boundaries in your relationship. You are not your partner’s sole emotional caretaker!

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When you’re at work, how often do you hear, “Is it Friday yet?” Do you long for the moment you get to clock out, return home, and relax for the weekend? Taking time away from work, be it a three-day weekend or two-week vacation, can help you reset and relax. Most people gain so much more than relaxation while away from work, even if time away isn’t that long. 

We understand that we don’t need to convince you to step away from the desk and take a vacation. You probably want to escape the hustle and bustle of work and leave your stress behind you as you embark on a vacation to the tropics. If you are like most people in America, you plug away and trudge through life without taking the opportunity to recharge away from anything work-related. 

One study found that many people don’t utilize vacation time for numerous reasons. They may fear pending layoffs, worry they’ll lose progress and be overwhelmed when they return, or feel guilty about leaving the office. Believe it or not, a 2018 survey found that the majority of bosses agree that vacation improves the productivity and focus of employees. It may even help them avoid burnouts at work! Continue reading to learn about some power benefits of taking time off work. 

You Get To Have A Mental Reset

If you work for 1,000 days in a row, you will likely experience anxiety, stress, or some form of panic. Even if you take just one day off, you can help reset yourself mentally and return to work with a clearer head. Mental health experts note that pushing yourself through too many work hours or days of work causes the brain to push back. Your river of ideas may run dry and tasks that were once easy prove extra difficult. The brain and body require rest, and taking time off may reduce cognitive fatigue, while simultaneously enhancing problem-solving ability and reducing work-related stress.

Your Soul Will Thank You

What does this mean, exactly? Taking time off work can benefit the mind and body, but it can also impact you on a deeper, more spiritual level. The soul is the body’s spiritual essence, i.e. who you really are at your core. When you take a vacation, you can tune out the external noise and direct your attention to yourself. Let go of your ego and reacquaint yourself with the essence of who you really are.

Your “happy place” may seem like a lounge chair on a beach with a cold drink in your hand, but it usually means that you can finally let go of daily pressures to reconnect with yourself and regain a sense of pride. It may sound like some hokey pokey nonsense, but getting back to basics can help you hone your intuition and values. This gives you more freedom to explore, learn, and do things that bring you joy!

You May Rekindle Relationships

When you work a lot and become overwhelmed by life, it is easy to push off dates, girls’ nights, hangs with the boys, or friendly gatherings. If that describes you, then you need a break. There is nothing wrong with focusing on your career, but too much focus can make you lose sight of the important relationships in your life. Allow yourself to take off the occasional Friday or go on that trip to Puerto Rico with your partner or friends. You will be glad that you did because time off boosts your mental health and can help you deepen the connection of your relationships. 

You’ll Experience Pure Joy

Taking trips, especially to certain parts of the world, can help give you perspective and clarity about a lot of things in life. A common feeling that accompanies clarity and inner peace is pure joy. It can sometimes take a few days to really settle into your vacation and realize that you are in a completely different space. Once you ease into relaxation mode, you can actually begin enjoying yourself. You can laugh, listen more intently, sleep better, and speak with an intensity that only exists when you are truly immersed in an experience. That is joy, people. 

You’ll Feel More Productive When You Return

There is no shame in hitting the reset button every now and again. That may come in the form of cleansing the body to reset your health, or taking a vacation. You know what a three-day holiday weekend can do for your productivity, now imagine what a whole week (or more) off could do. Some companies outside of the United States found that giving employees more time off to pursue creative endeavors or simply explore more led to better performance at work. Some researchers believe that relaxing and sleeping more on vacation helps people think more clearly and improves focus and productivity upon returning to work. That benefits both the employee and the employer!

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Love bombing, which is a popular term nowadays, is a type of emotional abuse. A love bomber uses grand gestures to manipulate the other person, i.e. they adorn the other person with gifts, compliments, and affection. The unfortunate reality is that these actions do not come from a place of love. Instead, love bombing is a technique that someone uses to make a friend, partner, or loved one dependent on them, which helps them control the relationship. 

Why Do People Love Bomb?

Psychologists theorize that love bombing comes from insecurities around trust or dependence on others. The idea is that if one person love bombs another person, they can gain control in the relationship. They then use that control to make the other person feel guilty about questioning their actions. Love bombing can be both intentional and unintentional and even though it is more common among romantic partners, anyone can do it. That said, it is a manipulative tactic that is more common in people with narcissistic personality disorder. Love bombing can also be a behavior that you learn, especially if you emulate parents or have done it in past relationships.

What Are The Signs Of Love Bombing?

Although the signs can vary from person to person, the typical indicator is an unwanted grand gesture that may make the other person uncomfortable. The key thing to note is that this gesture doesn’t make the person feel loved. Other signs of love bombing can include:

• Constant calling or texting to check in: The partner may not respect the other person’s schedule or time by constantly communicating. They may also get angry or frustrated if the other person doesn’t respond, given their “concern.”
• Giving unnecessary or unwanted gifts: A love bomber will usually pay for extravagant/unwanted gifts to make the other person feel loved. The gift giving is not in the other person’s best interest, and the love bomber will bring up the cost/significance of the gifts like a debt. 
• Over-the-top declarations of love: A love bomber may continuously flatter or shower the other person with praise, and usually way too early into the relationship. Over-the-top public displays of affection are common as well. 
• Constant praise or compliments: The right things are seemingly said, but compliments are typically an over-exaggeration. A love bomber may become overly interested in the other person’s hobbies or achievements. 
• Ignoring boundaries: It’s very common for a love bomber to respect healthy boundaries. They do not like being told no, similar to a child. If the behavior starts to overwhelm the other person and they communicate it to the lover bomber, the feelings are usually ignored. 
• Rushing into a relationship: Love bombers usually make future plans way too early into relationships. They tend to rush into committed relationships before getting to know the other person. 

Why Is Love Bombing Harmful?

As we have covered thus far, love bombing does not indicate a healthy individual or relationship. The behavior is manipulative and emotionally abusive, which is why some experts cite love bombing a mode of domestic abuse. Some experts believe that love bombing is a way for someone to gaslight their partner in order to isolate and control them. As a reaction, the person on the receiving end of the love bombing will likely experience mental health issues and remain in that unhealthy relationship. If love bombing persists, the emotional abuse can worsen and even become physical. Love bombing often includes the following modes of a narcissistic abuse cycle. 

• Idealization: The love bomber showers the other person with gifts and affection early on in the relationship. There may be feelings of sudden romance or intense love/caring. The love bomber will confess their love for the other person and what their future plans are. This constant communication and interest seems genuine, but it often isn’t.
• Devaluation: All of the grand gestures and compliments can make the person on the receiving end of the love bombing very comfortable. Gaining that comfort level can cause the love bomber to demand more of the other person’s time. They become irritated if they don’t get what they want and may attempt to gaslight or become violent. That is when the person should notice the red flags and get out of the relationship. 
• Discarding: If the person realizes that the love bomber’s behavior is unhealthy, confront them and try to establish boundaries. The love bomber may retaliate, refusing to cooperate. They may even go so far as to blame the other person for their actions, making them feel at fault. It’s also possible for the love bomber to move on and find a new replacement partner. 

The Takeaway

To conclude, love bombing is a manipulative tactic that is common among people with narcissistic personality disorder. It’s a tactic to gain control in a relationship, often to make the other person feel dependent on that person. Love bombing happens quickly, so be on the lookout for this unhealthy behavior early on in the relationship.

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What is the secret to a healthy, romantic relationship? Before we can answer that, we have to first determine what a healthy relationship is. They don’t look the same for everyone because everyone has different needs. Not only that, but needs surrounding affection, space, sex, hobbies, shared values, communication, and more can change over time. That’s why a healthy relationship that works for you in your 20s may not work for you in your 30s. 

It is hard to say that a relationship that goes against the norm isn’t healthy. People who practice polyamory or ethical non-monogamy may define a healthy relationship differently than a couple that practices monogamy. That’s why the term “healthy relationship” is broad and what makes one relationship thrive may threaten another one. One thing that all healthy relationships share, though, is adaptability. People change as they journey through life and relationships, so adapting to circumstances is vital. Here’s some advice to help you establish a stronger, healthier relationship. 

Individuality

A healthy relationship does not exist if you or your partner is codependent. Instead, you want an interdependent relationship, which means you rely on each other for mutual support while maintaining your own unique identity and individuality. That essentially means that you have a balanced relationship. You each have mutual love and approval, but self-esteem isn’t dependent on each other. Maintain connections and friends outside the relationship and spend time pursuing personal interests and hobbies. 

Trust

Trust is not going through a partner’s phone and not feeling the need to hide anything about yourself. There is inherent integrity and honesty within the relationship. You don’t worry about the other person pursuing others while you’re apart. Trust is much more than believing your partner will be faithful and honest. Feeling safe and comfortable with the understanding that you won’t hurt each other physically or emotionally is trust. You have your partner’s best interests in mind and that they respect your own choices and encourage you to be your own person. 

Curiosity

One of the trademarks of a healthy relationship is curiosity. Each party is interested in each other’s thoughts, goals, and daily life. You are excited to hear about the other person’s day and tell them about your own day. You both want to grow together and don’t fixate on who you both used to or could be. The goal is to hold flexible mindsets about each other because that can help you overcome obstacles in a relationship, and ultimately make it more fulfilling. 

Playfulness

Sure, playfulness in the bedroom is perfectly welcome, but that’s not what this pearl of wisdom is referring to. One of the best things you can do in your relationship is make time for fun and spontaneity. Joke and laugh together because you never know when one of you will encounter one of life’s many challenges. An obstacle can temporarily change the tone of the relationship, but being able to share laughter in lighter moments can help relieve that weight and strengthen your bond over time. 

Time Apart

A healthy relationship involves spending time together, but the amount of time varies based on personal needs, commitments, living arrangements, and work. One of the keys to a successful relationship is time apart. You need to be able to recognize the need for personal space and individual hobbies. Spend time with family on your own or pursue a hobby with a group of friends. What you do doesn’t matter, but what does matter is not spending every moment of your relationship together. The last thing you want to believe is that your relationship will crumble if you spend time apart. 

Open Communication

In a healthy relationship, you can regularly discuss successes, failures, and everything in between. You should not feel uncomfortable talking about any issues with your partner. Be free in your communication, whether it is about work, mental health symptoms, or even a friend that causes stress. A great partner may have a different opinion, but will listen without judgment before sharing their perspective. Just remember that communication goes both ways, so make sure your partner also feels like their voice is concerned.

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Leaving your work at the office is easier said than done. Your employer or coworkers can contact you for work information at any second of the day via email, text, or phone call. This is especially true if you work from home, which is more common than ever. In fact, a survey from 2023 found that 35% of people who held jobs that could be done remotely worked from home all the time in 2023, versus 7% before the COVID-19 pandemic. 

When Did People Start Talking About Work-Life Balance?

Within the last 10 years, there have been significant changes to work culture, and that is especially true within the last two to three years. The idea of a work-life balance is a novel concept, though. Psychologists have been conducting research on this topic for decades in order to figure out what makes people happy. Through their research, experts hope to better understand which environments enhance overall mental health. 

Ideally, you don’t want to live an unproductive life, but you also don’t want to burn out at work. How do you then find fulfillment at home and at your job? In the present day, work overload is more widespread, and to be honest, worse than ever before. This is because you are faced with 24/7 connectivity, which is why establishing boundaries and expectations is paramount. Both employees and employers have not taken a step back in this regard. People have changed the way they work and live life, so the key is to figure out how to adapt to this change and balance your work and personal life. Work is everywhere, but the following tips may help balance work with home life. 

Make Time For Yourself During The Work Day

Incorporating some time for yourself on a daily basis, even for 10-15 minutes, can make all the difference. This is a little easier to do if you work from home, but it’s also possible if you hold a regular office job. During that free time, you can take a walk around the block on your lunch break, meditate for 10 minutes, or do any activity that makes you happy. Most employers won’t mind if you take a short break, so long as you get your work done. 

Use Technology In Smarter Ways

Sure, willpower plays a role in checking your many devices, but you also have to make your technology work for you. The brain gets a little boost of excitement with every notification, though, even if it is a text from a friend, an invite from your boss, or a marketing email. You need spaces where you don’t, and physically cannot, check your phone, tablet, or laptop. Enforce this norm by not having phones during your meals, during family time, or during meetings. Limit your social media activity to scheduled times during the day, even if that means putting a time limit on the amount of time you get to view certain apps. Technology is not bad, but your habits are. 

Try To Find A Job That Aligns With Your Values

Although you need to draw a line in the sand between your nine-to-five and your personal life, establishing your work-life balance is also about aligning your work with your personal values. One study from 2022 found that better job quality, including security, salary, and satisfaction, led to better physical and mental health. Another study found that doing a job that aligned with personal values was associated with increased well-being the following day. When you engage in a job that aligns with personal values, you enhance your career satisfaction. That alignment also leads to a better sense of purpose, motivation, and overall fulfillment. 

Establish Boundaries

Everything in life requires boundaries, from relationships with friends and family to your work and home life. Enforcing boundaries that your employer and employees respect is a hurdle not everyone jumps over. If you work remotely and no longer have a commute, you have to find a routine to fill that time. For example, take your dog for a walk before you start work, or close your computer at a certain time when you have to feed cats or get children from school or after school activities. Schedule a workout once you clock out to separate the close of your work day and the rest of your evening. 

Don’t Mistake A Flexible Work Schedule For Full-Time Availability

Working for a company that allows flexible hours does not mean that you have to make yourself available 24/7. If you leave the office at 3 p.m. for an appointment, maybe your employer lets you make up the hours you missed from home. That doesn’t mean that you have to work all night or do more work than what is required of you. Establish what your colleagues and boss expect from you! Don’t reply to an email at midnight, either. Developing the expectation that you are always available can make it hard to separate your work life from personal life. Plus, it gives people the wrong idea about your availability.

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How many times do you or people you know swipe right, swipe left, or initiate a conversation with a person you find attractive? Are there certain things that make one person more attractive to you than others? Researchers and psychologists agree that a person’s personal experiences and biology can explain why the heart wants what it wants. That may also explain why one person’s looks or persona may turn someone on and turn another person off. 

Attraction isn’t just about a smile that makes your knees weak or a sense of humor that melds with your own. Culture and values, certain life experiences, biology, and evolution all influence who you are attracted to and why. Experts agree that there are five, largely universal elements of attraction. We are going to explain what the experts say about turn-ons and turn-offs below.

Proximity

Familiarity can often breed attraction, which is why it is common for people to start out as friends and before getting romantically involved. It doesn’t have to be that way, though, because you may just bump into the same person at the gym or coffee shop. The more you grow fond of that person, the more likely you are to be attracted to them. Think of this like listening to a song: the more you listen to it, the catchier it becomes.

Similarity

What you have in common with someone can often influence your attraction. You may share the same level of education, interests, looks, and goals with a person, but you don’t have to share all of these things in common for that spark to ignite. Is it convenient if you share the same passion for Thai food and have similar interests in music? Sure, but recent research shows that you may be drawn to people like you because your shared attributes reflect something deeper. Some researchers say this connection is strong because you both see things the same way, and that can be very attractive. That’s not to say that you have to agree on everything, because disagreeing is often healthy. 

Reciprocity

Are you more likely to find someone attractive if you feel that they like you? This is the concept of reciprocity, but if that factor fades, so too can the relationship. When you put a lot of effort into something and receive nothing in return, it then becomes less meaningful. In the case of a relationship, that flame can die out and attraction fades. 

Physical Attractiveness

Not everything comes down to how you think someone looks. Physical attractiveness can change across cultures, generations, and even in individuals at different stages in life, or points in a relationship. What’s on the outside does play a role in how attracted you are to another person, though. Sociologists suggest that physical attractiveness matters from an evolutionary standpoint. Appearance, scent, and even sound may give you insight to a person’s age and health. One review of studies found that people can accurately detect characteristics from cooperativeness to body size in a potential partner only from hearing their voice. 

Responsiveness

Some people like to play hard to get, while others like to respond immediately. One controlled experiment found that people who were less responsive were rated as less attractive. You may not need to respond to someone instantaneously, but maybe don’t wait two days to respond to a text. People are on their phones regularly, so the excuse, “Sorry, I’m just seeing this,” may not be a great indicator of your or the other person’s character. 

Biology Plays A Role

What turns you on may not turn on another person, even if that person is your best friend. Some preferences seem to be hardwired over millennia of human evolution. Researchers looked at surveys of more than 14,000 people across 45 countries. They found that men prefer physically attractive, younger partners, while women prefer older, financially stable partners. That is even true in cultures with more gender equality. 

Regarding men, the emphasis on looks and youth may reflect an evolutionary desire to pass on genes. A woman’s higher premium on wealth may be related to an evolutionary need for support during childbearing years. Before birth control, it is likely that women spent most of their reproductive years either pregnant or lactating. Those things require a lot of human resources, regarding food, time, and energy. More research on this topic is still necessary, especially surrounding dating preferences in the LGBTQ+ community.

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A lot of couples had to reevaluate their status when they emerged from pandemic seclusion. People changed and so did relationships. Couples spent as much time together during the pandemic as they would over a three-year period, according to clinical psychologists. As couples plunged back into regular life, they realized they needed to reset their relationships.

Now, you don’t have to be holed up in your house for a year to do a relationship reset. Resetting and redefining a relationship can be especially beneficial for empathetic and sensitive people because they can pick up on other people’s emotions more easily. Empaths have a uniquely close connection with others, so resetting a relationship may be the maintenance necessary for emotional housekeeping. 

Whether you’re an empath or not, a relationship reset can be highly beneficial for both parties. If you are in a funk as a couple, hitting the reset button can help keep the relationship on the tracks. Consider the following tips to help strengthen your relationship. 

Do A Relationship Review

For starters, have a sit-down together and assess what works and what doesn’t work about your relationship. In order to make positive changes going forward, you have to share what you’ve learned about each other during the course of your relationship. Consider using prompts to aid the flow of the conversation. What has your time together revealed about your relationship? What do you want to discard and what has surprised you about each other? Don’t just focus on annoying things your partner does because they probably did/do things that surprised you. 

Build In Time Apart

Togetherness is a beautiful thing, but every couple needs time apart. Not only does time apart help the relationship flourish, but it also gives each person more independent strength. Solo time and being with other people can shape your character from different perspectives. When you are alone, you are in more control of your actions and how you manage your time. You can also process events, set goals, and think more individually while apart. Taking time for yourself helps each person in the relationship grow independently, and that can actually strengthen it. 

Spend Less Time In Their Energy

This piggybacks on the aforementioned tip about building time apart, and it also applies to a wide variety of relationships. Create space for yourself by not answering calls, text, or emails immediately. If you live with the person, make a habit of running errands separately or spending time with other people outside of the house. Solo hobbies are also great to have because they allow you to focus on self-improvement. Cooking, gardening, writing, or martial arts classes are great solo endeavors. 

Voice Your Appreciation

Although time apart is necessary for any relationship, time together is also something to cherish. When you are together, it’s imperative to voice your appreciation, especially if you feel that that is one of your weaknesses. Just as negative feedback is conducive to the relationship, so is positivity. A nearly three-decade-long study of marriage and divorce confirmed that one of the biggest regrets among divorced participants was not giving more encouragement and positive support. You can provide this type of support in the form of words or thoughtful gestures. Neglecting simple acts like cleaning the kitchen or making dinner can slowly chip away at a person. Don’t let the little things go unnoticed and make sure to show appreciation. 

Take Time To Connect

Sex is a crucial component to a healthy relationship. A recent online survey of 1,559 adults found that 43% of participants reported a decline in the quality of their sex lives since the start of the pandemic. A sexual dry spell is more common than you think. Stress, career uncertainty, children, and more are all libido killers. So how do you reignite that sexual spark and intimate connection? Therapists suggest that you prioritize sex as a component of overall health and wellbeing. When you prioritize sex as health, it makes it easier to allocate time for intimacy. If that means scheduling sex once a week, so be it! Don’t worry about the schedule taking the excitement out of the act. More often than not, people look forward to sex on the calendar! Most health experts suggest aiming for sex once a week because it is a very achievable number. Plus, one study found that weekly sex was essential for maximum wellbeing. 

After a relationship reset, assess how you feel toward the other person. You may find that you love them more than ever before. It’s also possible that the other person may need to occupy less space in your life. Relationships are not easy, and they can be messy and imperfect. A good clean up and reset can often be of great service to your relationship.

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