For a lot of people, the hype of the holidays can bring a lot of excitement, joy, and lots of nostalgia. For others, the holiday season can bring up past trauma, estranged relationships, and feelings of loneliness. Even if that isn’t the case, the holidays are like an emotional rollercoaster. You go from intense levels of holiday activities to very low energy, which can seem like peace, but the emotional result is often depression.

What Are The Post-Holiday Blues?

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the holiday blues are characterized by feelings of anxiety and stress that stem from a variety of reasons. A 2015 survey found that about 64% of people reported that they experienced the post-holiday blues. Financial stress, an inability to make it home for the holidays, and the emotional whirlwind of emotions after the holidays finish can all cause bouts of depression. Plus, seasonal depression is more common than you think, with about 14% of American adults experiencing the winter blues. 

If you are dealing with feelings of stress or depression, please understand that you are not alone. There are many ways to manage your symptoms and get the help you need. The post-holiday blues can affect people who may or may not be dealing with depression already. The following signs are common indicators of post-holiday blues:

• Activities are more difficult than normal
• Difficulty getting out of bed or struggling to make food
• Feeling more tired than usual
• Having trouble concentrating
• Losing interest in things that used to bring you joy

Don’t let the post-holiday blues control your life. Take action and manage your mental health, working through your feelings to start anew. We hope that the following tips help you beat the post-holiday blues. 

Get Out Of The House

Cut the atmosphere of being in a house that doesn’t have any holiday activities or aromas by getting out of your home. Even on a gray or snowy day, step outside to raise your energy levels. If it is really cold where you are, make sure to bundle up so as not to freeze. You can combine your outing by meeting a friend at a local coffee shop. Consider chatting with the cashier at the grocery store, the mail carrier, or even the gas station attendant. Getting out of your house is a great way to interrupt the winter blues. 

Limit Your Alcohol Intake

Drinking and the holidays seem to be quite synonymous, especially during holiday celebrations. The intake of libations tends to continue long after the celebrations come to a close, though. Because alcohol is a depressant, it can only enhance feelings of sadness, especially if you are alone. Drinking to excess can affect your mood and amplify any negative feelings, even if you push them down deep. Avoid alcohol if you can and consider doing something productive, like taking down decorations, getting rid of old clothes, or volunteer at a local shelter to help out those in need.

Talk To Someone Verbally

It’s easy to send a text, direct message, or email, but it means so much more when you communicate verbally. Think about someone that you enjoy being around or care about and call that person on the phone. Rather than complaining about your mood, ask them how they are doing. What was the best part of their holiday weekend, or where did they have the most fun? If you feel that someone may not answer their phone, you can send a text saying that you want to chat for a few minutes. 

Reread Greeting Cards

Greeting cards, or holiday cards, are not as common as they used to be, but people still send them and they can bring a smile to your face. We aren’t going to lie: some greeting cards are bland and boring. For every few bad greeting cards, you get a great one that you hopefully save. When the holidays are over, bust out the greeting cards to reread them and figure out which ones are your favorites. Don’t ruminate in your depression when you can easily brighten your spirits by reading words from a friend, family member, or loved one. 

Slide Out Of The Holidays

If you are going to sit on the couch and watch TV or do another activity, make sure that it is not holiday-related. It may not seem likely, but you can easily go down the rabbit hole of what you just lost. Take care of your mental health by taking your mind off the holidays and directing your gaze toward the new year. There are many things to do to wrap up the year! Consider getting a head start on your health goals, or start cleaning to have a neat and tidy home for New Year’s Day.

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The persimmon is a fall and winter fruit (available from October to February) that is uniquely plump and sweet. It is an underrated fruit, primarily because a lot of people ignore them in the grocery store. They know what the fruit looks like, but since they don’t know what to do with it, the fruit remains in the store. For those who love persimmons and have countless recipes, we applaud your culinary knowledge and skills. If you are familiar with persimmons, then you know they are not for everyone, especially, kids, but this smoothie may change the way the little ones feel about the unique fruit.

If you are new to persimmons, it can be tricky to determine their ripeness. Just like other fruits, persimmons taste best when you allow them to fully ripen. Hachiya persimmons take a little longer to ripen than Fuyu persimmons, which you will want to buy for this recipe. Many people think that Fuyu persimmons have a sweeter flavor profile and that they are less astringent than Hachiya persimmons. A Fuyu persimmon is ripe when it is a little squishy, but still slightly firm to the touch. Firm Hachiya persimmons are very tart, and only sweeten up once they fully ripen.

As far as flavor goes, Fuyu persimmons have a mild taste with a honey-like flavor. You can eat them raw, removing the tops and the skin before slicing them up. Just make sure to discard any large seeds, especially before you blend them into this smoothie. The persimmons are the only fruit or vegetable in this smoothie and they are slightly sour, the homemade almond milk, cinnamon, vanilla extract, and lemon juice will balance that tartness. We hope you (and the kids!) love this simple persimmon smoothie. It’s definitely one for the books that is very easy to make.

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People love the holidays, but they can cause a lot of stress. From event planning to coordinating with family arrivals, the holidays demand emotional and mental energy, which can easily deplete. Not to mention, the energy one must exert to entertain can physically drain the body. What does that mean for a relationship at the end of the day?

It’s very common to have a relationship take a backseat to the rest of the goings-on during the holidays. One or both partners may not even classify the relationship as a priority. Additionally, one person in the relationship may gain more joy out of the holiday festivities, while the other person just grinds through them. It’s fine to avoid Christmas music in the car or conversing with specific family members, for example, but it’s not acceptable to neglect the relationship. It’s important to carve out time to nurture the relationship, focusing intently on each party. Learn how to do that during the holiday hustle and bustle with the following tips. 

Be Curious

When you’re busy, it’s quite common to be swept up by your own schedule. A busy schedule isn’t an excuse to avoid inquiring about your partner’s day or feelings, though. There isn’t a requirement to ask your partner about every single aspect of their day, but maintaining curiosity can help care for the flame in a relationship. You can always learn something new about your partner, especially if their environment or personality changes. A simple, “Tell me about the best and worst parts of your day,” can go a long way. Not only will you start up a conversation and learn more, but you’ll also maintain an intimate connection.

Skip Some Of The Parties

Some people live for holiday parties. From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, the invitations roll in and it can be overwhelming if you try to attend all of them. It’s quite common that one person in the relationship will get annoyed by all the socializing, so don’t overcommit and attend all of the parties. Talk to one another about the parties you really want to attend and the ones that you’d be happy to miss. Sometimes, avoiding the party and taking time for just the two of you is more beneficial. Consider dinner and a movie or simply spend the night at home and relax. 

Listening Dates

Speaking of spending the night at home, why not turn it into a listening date? Similar to being curious about your partner, sometimes it’s integral to just sit down and listen as intently as possible. Set a time and make sure you put away your phones, so as not to be distracted while the other person is talking. Don’t have the TV on, either! Look your partner in the eyes and listen quietly, allowing them to vent or simply tell you about their day. This exercise helps the person feel heard and it can actually strengthen your relationship. 

Create Boundaries With Family

Extended family coming and going throughout the holidays can take a toll on a relationship. Different family dynamics can press all sorts of buttons! No matter how healthy or dysfunctional the family is, it’s important to establish boundaries in order to avoid tension, stress, and hurt feelings. Have a conversation with your partner about being on the same team and make a plan together. You can decide what to do if certain issues come up. It’s impossible to predict what people are going to say, but you can have a plan to redirect the conversation away from polarizing topics. Lastly, each partner should communicate boundaries with their own families, so that that responsibility doesn’t fall on the other person. 

Have Fun

Carve out time for fun this holiday season because there are so many activities that can bring joy. One of the best ways to connect with a partner is through laughter, fun, and play. Head to an outdoor ice skating rink or consider a holiday lights tour. You can even go to a mini golf place! If you want to be more low key, you can stay at home and play some cards or walk through the neighborhood holding hands on a cold night. Remember, fun exists even in the most ordinary places. 

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The bright lights and holiday cheer may inspire joy and feelings of love for a lot of people, but not everyone. This time of year can bring about feelings of isolation, grief, loneliness, and sadness, especially for people with clinical or seasonal depression. 

Psychiatrists explain that depression can occur around the holidays for numerous reasons. The holidays increase thoughts of family, social engagement, and relationships. If there are issues within those dynamics in people’s lives, depression can rise to the surface. The holidays also tend to demand more family time than usual, which can be highly stressful for some people. Family events may cause old conflicts, emotions, or situations to arrive that can be very difficult to navigate. 

How To Manage Depression During The Holidays

For many people, the winter can trigger seasonal affective disorder, or seasonal depression. Unlike traditional depression, seasonal depression occurs in a seasonal pattern, typically worsening in darker fall and winter months. Practicing good self-care is essential year round, but it is extra important during the holidays. You can combat lack of energy, fatigue, and other symptoms with various coping strategies and self-care practices. Whatever the cause of your depression, we hope the following tips can help you cope.

Assess Your Relationships And Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a crucial element of self-care, especially for your emotional and mental health. The boundaries you set will depend on the different people in your life and the situations that you’ll encounter during the holidays. Maybe you limit the time you spend with certain people who cause you to feel negative emotions or heighten depressive symptoms. Establish boundaries for these people and set availability for them as well. Your time and mental health are paramount! If you struggle with setting boundaries, click here for some helpful tips. 

Create A Coping Sheet

A coping sheet is a list of your favorite activities that you can turn to when you feel down. Create your own coping sheet or develop one with your family members or therapist. Many coping sheets are filled with actions that can help manage depressive symptoms. Some popular things to include on your coping sheet are:

• Listening to music
• Painting 
• Meditating
• Singing
• Breathing techniques
• Positive self-talk
• Journaling
• Acupuncture

Get Outdoors And Stay Active

According to many studies, moving the body is one of the best ways to cope with depression, regardless of the season. One meta-analysis of 218 studies concluded that exercise is an effective way to manage depression. This was especially true for jogging, walking, strength training, and yoga. Exercise combined with psychotherapy proved to be the most effective way to experience depression relief. Researchers found that getting outside while engaging in exercise relieved depressive symptoms even more. Spending time in nature can help reduce risk of depression. One study found that time spent in green environments reduced the risk of anxiety and depression in the long run. Consider planning some fun, holiday outdoor activities. Go ice skating, snowboarding, sledding, or hiking, depending on where you live and what is available to you. 

Share How You Are Feeling With Loved Ones

During the holiday season, mental health experts recommend that you surround yourself with people you can rely on. These people can be family members or friends who can help you manage holiday depression. Reach out to people you trust and share how you are feeling. It’s impossible to know how friends or family will react, but the people who love you will be there for you no matter what. Confide in them about how you are feeling and they will most likely offer empathy, or share similar experiences that may help you feel less alone. Do not underestimate the power of community and love. People want to help, so just ask.

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There are people who just seem to live in the gym. Perhaps that person is your sister or brother, or a friend you love a lot. Maybe they visit health food stores and cannot stop talking about recovery methods or healing modalities. They usually wear athletic attire and carefully watch what they eat. If that sounds like someone you know, then this holiday gift guide is going to come in handy!

’Tis the season to show that wellness enthusiast just how much you’ve been listening to their excitement for sound baths and stretch therapy. Perhaps your friend or family member is looking to embark on a new wellness journey, improve their inner self, or get more involved in different fitness worlds. Whatever the case, we hope you find inspiration from the following list. 

Dry Brush

We are starting out on the relatively inexpensive side of gifting. A dry brush will likely cost somewhere between $10 and $20, but the benefits are worth it. Dry brushing may help the body eliminate toxins and promote relaxation. The lymphatic system requires stimulation to prevent it from clogging. Dry brushing works to open up the pores and help the body release toxins through sweat, which reduces the amount of toxins that flow through the lymphatic system. 

Hiking Shoes

Now, a pair of hiking shoes can be on the pricier side, but think of them as an investment. Maybe save this gift for someone you really love and care about! All jokes aside, a great pair of hiking shoes or boots can save people from ankle injuries, knee pain, and general foot soreness. Shoes that have Vibram soles are excellent!

A Gym Bag

A good gym bag is something that any athletic enthusiast will enjoy. Consider a compact gym bag with lots of pockets, or a larger one if the person you know carries lots of equipment and clothes. Ideally, choose one that has a shoulder strap and one that can easily fit in a locker. 

Crystal Ear Seed Kit

Some people love acupuncture and want to get treatment, but they don’t always have the time for it. A crystal ear seed kit can give people similar benefits to acupuncture from the comfort of their own home. The ear seeds stimulate pressure points in the ear, which is a form of acupressure and auriculotherapy. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) reports that energy travels along meridian lines, many of which run through the ears. 

Massage Gift Card

Who doesn’t love a free massage? That is especially true if the person you purchase the massage for is pushing it in the gym eight days a week. Treat that special someone to a lovely full-body massage. If possible, make it so they can choose between Swedish, deep tissue, relaxing, sports, or other types of massage if they are all the same price. Alternatively, gift someone a facial or other skin care treatment service, such as a body wrap, peel, or body scrub. 

Massage Gun

Everyone can benefit from owning a massage gun. It used to be that they cost upwards of $300, but now there are so many at various price points. There are standard massage guns, mini massage guns (which are great for travel), and percussive massage balls. All of these massage devices can help loosen up fascia, which reduces stiffness and may help improve range of motion. 

Essential Oil Diffuser

This is a classic gift for wellness and non-wellness enthusiasts alike. There are so many diffusers available, so you do not need to spend all your money on a specific one you saw on Instagram. They all pretty much do the same thing: diffuser essential oil aroma into a space. You want to pay attention to the essential oils you purchase, though, as many are not 100% pure. Pure essential oils are the best!

Singing Bowl

This gift is for anyone who has expressed interest in sound baths or meditation. A singing bowl is perfect for at-home meditation because the tones can aid with anxiety and stress reduction. Different bowls have different tones when you hit them, and you can search which frequencies benefit what. 

Unique Fitness Experience

Be it bungee aerobics, Pilates, spin class, Zumba, or rage therapy, a unique fitness experience is a great gift for wellness enthusiasts. It gives them the opportunity to try something out without having to purchase a membership. If they like the class they try, they can always purchase more classes or get a membership to the facility!

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Some people are highly in touch with their own stimuli and can pick up on the smallest things in their surroundings. Others can be empaths who feel other people’s energies and emotions in their own systems. If you fall into either of these categories, you may experience strain on the nervous system from time to time. It’s almost as if these feelings and emotions crawl their way under your skin without you having any say in the matter!

What is an empath? Well, it means that you can bond quickly with others or feel what others feel. That can create some incredibly loving, intimate, and nourishing experiences. Being highly sensitive can also mean that you quickly become overstimulated, either from your own emotions or from others. When this happens, you need to soothe your sensitive system and bring it back into proper balance. Continue reading to learn how to do that.

Come Home To Yourself

Experiencing quality solo time is one of the most underrated self-care acts. You can take a walk in nature, read an inspiring book, or get lost in a creative spell, painting, carving wood, or drawing. Go ahead and do things that you enjoy alone, as that can help anchor you in your own energy. That will help you feel less frazzled and drained. During this alone time, make sure that you reconnect with yourself via relaxing, engaging, or enjoyable activities. If that means cleaning your house or listening to a podcast in the park, so be it!

Reduce The Physical Stimuli In Your Environment

By lowering the physical stimuli in your environment, you can help soothe your sensitive system. If you live alone, perhaps this looks like putting on relaxing music or nature sounds. Maybe you snuggle up under your softest blanket, dim the lights, and put your phone on silent. If you live with someone, be it a romantic partner, kids, or pets, create a sanctuary or retreat in your home where you can recover. Keep in mind that you can turn common areas into safe sanctuaries. 

Recognize When You Need Soothing

You may need to soothe your system if you experience an increase in any of the following:

• Numbing yourself with addictive behaviors
• Feeling tired or drained
• Craving alone time
• Stressing out more easily
• Having difficulty falling or staying asleep
• Racing thoughts
• Isolating, even if you are lonely
• Feeling on edge, or jumpy
• Overindulging in salty, fatty, or sugary foods

You can always communicate with your healthcare provider about your mineral, vitamin, and blood sugar levels. If they are out of whack, you may need to figure out how to balance them. Sometimes, that can be as simple as soothing yourself!

Get In Touch With What You Want, Need, And Feel

Empaths can feel what’s going on around them, so that means they may forget to prioritize their own experience. It’s common for empaths to get sucked into everyone else’s experience, which can make them feel lost or yearning for self-gratification. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive, as it usually inspires compassion. Just don’t let your own life become overly crowded. Connect with yourself daily in order to find out what you want, need, and feel. That will allow you to separate from others in a healthy way and make yourself a priority, which can help you ground yourself. That will only help you show up for others in a more responsible way.

Don’t Turn Someone Into A Healing Project

It is very common for a sensitive person to go on rogue healing missions. They tend to have stronger inner healers than the average person, but that doesn’t mean they should make it a point to heal co-workers, friends, or loved ones. If that happens, it is integral to create healthy space between you and the other person. Remind yourself that you are not responsible for someone else’s problems. You can still cherish loved ones and romantic partners without letting their issues affect you. Don’t be a “fixer” or tenderhearted person because letting someone else’s problems take over can negatively affect your nervous system.

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It can be very difficult to see a partner, a friend even, struggling with their mental help. They fall into a slump and that can strain the relationship. For anyone in a long-term relationship, a mental health slump will likely occur at some point. In fact, about 50% of Americans will experience some form of mental illness at some point during their lifetime. 

How do you approach a partner who is experiencing a mental health slump? There are supportive strategies that can be highly beneficial for both of you. Just remember that you are there for your partner, even in times of hardship. Continue reading to learn how you can help support a partner who is struggling.

No Toxic Positivity Allowed

There is no need to be an ever-positive ray of sunshine when it comes time to help a partner in need. There is no need to say things like, “Be positive!” Don’t remind them how much they have to be grateful for because that will usually cause them to feel shame. It may also make them feel as though you misunderstand their situation. 

Do Not Ignore The Situation

Ignoring something does not make it go away. The last thing you want to do is bottle up feelings and hope for the best, and you shouldn’t want that for your partner either. Do not ignore your partner’s mental health slump because that will only cause them to feel more isolated. Begin the dialogue and proceed in a gentle way.

Begin The Conversation Sensitively

Ideally, you should approach this conversation with a sensitive and delicate touch. Your partner is in a fragile state, so begin with a phrase like, “I’ve been thinking about you and I’m curious how you are doing.” You can also say something like, “I care about you and want to be here for you.” Ask if there is a special way that you can support them, as you may not be aware of how to do that.

Be Clear On How They Want To Be Supported

Everyone requires their own solutions for their given difficulties. Some people may choose or not choose to accept support. That is why it is paramount for you to get clear about your partner’s needs. Perhaps they need you to just be there and be silent, or you take walks together. Understanding and respecting your partner during their mental health challenges will only strengthen the connection between both of you. Plus, your relationship will remain in better standing as you support them, while also allowing them to experience their own symptoms. 

Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice

It is almost human nature to offer advice or suggestions when someone is in need. There is a time and place for advice, though. Sometimes, the best advice you can give is nothing at all. Oftentimes, your presence and quiet time is appreciated above all else. Just be there for your partner, show them respect, and understand that they are going through a mental health slump. Your relationship will likely become stronger when you offer your support and allow them to work through their depressive symptoms.

Validate Your Partner

People usually crave validation and safety in times of hardship. They want to feel love and there is nothing wrong with them wanting that. Even if your partner feels shame, confusion, or anger, use phrases like, “I can see that you are struggling and how much effort you’re putting forth.” You can also say something like, “What you are saying and feeling is understandable.”

Make Plans To Do Something Fun

It is very common for mental health issues to tell the person lies. For example, a person’s mind may tell them that they will not enjoy an activity that usually invites joy. You should suggest and plan activities that can help shift your partner’s energy. If they are really against the suggestion, though, do not force them to engage. Your suggestions can be very low-maintenance, such as going for a walk or hike, playing a board game, or getting a massage. 

Know Your Own Limits

For your own mental health, make sure that you know where the line in the sand is. There is a distinction between being a partner and being your partner’s therapist. You can always encourage your partner to find support, be that in the form of a therapist, life coach, or support group. That doesn’t mean that you abandon your partner; rather, it just reaffirms the boundaries in your relationship. You are not your partner’s sole emotional caretaker!

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A recent study involved middle-aged women and researchers observed that having a high attachment to a furry friend helped reduce anxiety. Specifically, dog ownership, not cat ownership, was found to lower anxiety. In fact, researchers noted that a strong connection with a dog contributed to lower rates of depression and anxiety, in addition to symptoms of either disorder. This was especially true for women with a history of childhood abuse. 

Researchers noted that the level of attachment to a pet is a crucial factor in how they help reduce anxiety or risk of their owners’ depression. This bond may be more impactful for certain groups, but that depends on the person’s attachment style and if they endured childhood abuse. Just as with anything, there are other factors to consider before adopting a pet. Although it may benefit your mental health, not everyone is equipped to have a pet. Just keep that in mind when reading about the following study. 

Women With Strong Bonds to Dogs Had Lower Rates Of Anxiety And Depression

Study authors explain that the goal of the study was to better understand if a close bond with a pet reduced a person’s anxiety and depression, especially for women who endured childhood abuse. The study included 214 women who previously enrolled in the Nurses’ Health Study 2. 140 of those women owned a pet, 56% of which owned a dog and 33% of which owned a cat. The controlled group in the study consisted of 74 participants who had never owned a pet. 

Researchers purposefully, but randomly, oversampled participants who reported childhood abuse. That means that they included a higher percentage than would normally be found in the general population. This was to better understand the impact of pet ownership on women with mental health issues. The average age of the group was 61, and 156 women experienced childhood abuse. 

During the study, participants were asked about their feelings and behaviors toward the pet they spent the most time with. Did they consider them a friend? Did they talk to them or play with them frequently? Were the pets considered family members? Researchers noted that a higher attachment to dogs was linked to significantly lower symptoms of depression and anxiety. Dog attachment also revealed lower scores in general anxiety and overall anxiety and depression symptoms. That was particularly true among women with a history of childhood abuse.

Women With Cats Didn’t Have Lower Anxiety And Depression

Although pet attachment was linked to lower anxiety levels, there was no significant reduction in depression or anxiety in women who had an attachment to cats. Is this another reason to understand that dogs are better? We are not at liberty to make that claim. Unfortunately, researchers don’t fully understand why that is. They theorize that may have been due to a smaller sample size of cat owners. Perhaps it was the differences in the lifestyles and personalities of cats versus dog owners. 

Cats are generally more independent than dogs, though. Some people may feel that cats lack the same level of companionship or emotional support, but that is entirely subjective. The social interactions encouraged by dogs may not be as prevalent with cats. Dogs require walks, trips to the park, or even doggy playdates.  Cats tend to stay indoors and may not encourage the same level of social engagement or physical activity. 

The Love For Animals Inspires Researchers

All of the researchers behind the study had pets of their own and shared a similar love for animals. The research was driven by the growing evidence that pets have the power to benefit human health. Many researchers have noticed that elderly patients are able to relax and find anxiety relief when through the companionship of a pet. Pets bring a level of comfort and can help reduce feelings of loneliness. They offer unconditional love and support!

Should You Consider A Pet?

If you suffer from depression or anxiety, getting a pet may seem like the answer. As a disclaimer, not everyone with depression or anxiety will benefit from pet ownership. There are a lot of things to consider before getting a pet. Pet ownership comes with a lot of responsibilities and commitment, physically, financially, and emotionally. 

Many people who experience feelings of depression or loneliness may benefit from interacting with a pet. That pet may even cause you to get out of bed in the morning because that living creature relies on you. For others, getting a pet can be very overwhelming, and it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, stress, or shame. All of that can contribute to more depression or anxiety. Just calculate the risk of getting a pet before jumping in the deep end. You may find that fostering a pet is a great first step!

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June is Pride Month, and it’s dedicated to celebrating the work of LGBTQIA+ activists who have changed the world. The gatherings that take place over the course of the month allow LGBTQIA+ individuals to celebrate who they are, and who they are proud to be. By going to Pride events, the community gets to celebrate who they are and who they love. The welcoming and accepting nature of these events relieves any person of fear they might otherwise experience in the world. 

What Is Pride Month?

Dedicated to uplifting LGBTQIA+ voices, Pride Month celebrates LGBTQIA+ rights and culture. Throughout the month, there are many celebrations that take place, including parades, protests, live theater, memorials, drag performances, and more. Additionally, there are many celebrations of life that commemorate members of the community who lost their lives to HIV/AIDS. Part of the month is about political activism, while the other part focuses on celebrating the LGBTQIA+ community and the victories it has achieved over the years. 

Why Is June Pride Month?

Early in the morning on June 28th, 1969, police raided the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York’s Greenwich village. Officers started hauling patrons outside and tensions escalated quickly. Patrons resisted arrest and a large crowd of bystanders began throwing coins, bottles, and other things at the officers. Fed up by the harassment by authorities, New York’s gay community broke out in neighborhood riots that lasted three days. 

The uprising served as somewhat of a catalyst for an emerging gay rights movement. For example, the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance formed after the historic event. These organizations modeled themselves after the civil rights and women’s rights movements. Members of the organizations held protests, met with political leaders, and interrupted public meetings to hold leaders accountable. One year after the Stonewall riots, the nation’s first Gay Pride marches took place. 

What does LGBTQIA+ Stand For?

LGBTQIA+ is an inclusive term that includes people of all genders and sexualities. The acronym stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, asexual, pansexual, and allies. Each letter may stand for a specific group of people, but the term encompasses the entire spectrum of gender fluidity and sexual identities. Queer is an umbrella term for non-straight people, while intersex refers to those whose sex does not have a clear definition because of hormonal, genetic, or biological differences. 

Where Did Pride Come From?

According to historical accounts, many people credit Brenda Howard as being the “Mother of Pride.” She organized the first Pride parade to commemorate the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall uprising. 

Where Did the Rainbow Flag Originate?

The rainbow flag, created by artist Gilbert Baker in 1978, is a commonly used symbol of LGBTQIA+ ride. Harvey Milk, one of the first openly gay elected officials in the U.S., commissioned Baker to make a flag for the city’s upcoming Pride celebrations. Baker, a prominent gay rights activist, used the stripes on the American flag as inspiration, but used the rainbow to include the many groups within the gay community. Many people don’t know that each color of the flag has its own meaning. Red symbolizes life, orange is healing, yellow is sunshine, green is nature, blue is harmony, and purple is spirit. The original eight-color flag included hot pink and turquoise. The former represented sex, while the latter represented magic and art. 

Pride events welcome allies from outside the LGBTQIA+ community. There are many opportunities to show support, observe, listen, and learn more about Pride during the month of June. See what your community has to offer via social media, news outlets, and more. Happy Pride Month!

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Love bombing, which is a popular term nowadays, is a type of emotional abuse. A love bomber uses grand gestures to manipulate the other person, i.e. they adorn the other person with gifts, compliments, and affection. The unfortunate reality is that these actions do not come from a place of love. Instead, love bombing is a technique that someone uses to make a friend, partner, or loved one dependent on them, which helps them control the relationship. 

Why Do People Love Bomb?

Psychologists theorize that love bombing comes from insecurities around trust or dependence on others. The idea is that if one person love bombs another person, they can gain control in the relationship. They then use that control to make the other person feel guilty about questioning their actions. Love bombing can be both intentional and unintentional and even though it is more common among romantic partners, anyone can do it. That said, it is a manipulative tactic that is more common in people with narcissistic personality disorder. Love bombing can also be a behavior that you learn, especially if you emulate parents or have done it in past relationships.

What Are The Signs Of Love Bombing?

Although the signs can vary from person to person, the typical indicator is an unwanted grand gesture that may make the other person uncomfortable. The key thing to note is that this gesture doesn’t make the person feel loved. Other signs of love bombing can include:

• Constant calling or texting to check in: The partner may not respect the other person’s schedule or time by constantly communicating. They may also get angry or frustrated if the other person doesn’t respond, given their “concern.”
• Giving unnecessary or unwanted gifts: A love bomber will usually pay for extravagant/unwanted gifts to make the other person feel loved. The gift giving is not in the other person’s best interest, and the love bomber will bring up the cost/significance of the gifts like a debt. 
• Over-the-top declarations of love: A love bomber may continuously flatter or shower the other person with praise, and usually way too early into the relationship. Over-the-top public displays of affection are common as well. 
• Constant praise or compliments: The right things are seemingly said, but compliments are typically an over-exaggeration. A love bomber may become overly interested in the other person’s hobbies or achievements. 
• Ignoring boundaries: It’s very common for a love bomber to respect healthy boundaries. They do not like being told no, similar to a child. If the behavior starts to overwhelm the other person and they communicate it to the lover bomber, the feelings are usually ignored. 
• Rushing into a relationship: Love bombers usually make future plans way too early into relationships. They tend to rush into committed relationships before getting to know the other person. 

Why Is Love Bombing Harmful?

As we have covered thus far, love bombing does not indicate a healthy individual or relationship. The behavior is manipulative and emotionally abusive, which is why some experts cite love bombing a mode of domestic abuse. Some experts believe that love bombing is a way for someone to gaslight their partner in order to isolate and control them. As a reaction, the person on the receiving end of the love bombing will likely experience mental health issues and remain in that unhealthy relationship. If love bombing persists, the emotional abuse can worsen and even become physical. Love bombing often includes the following modes of a narcissistic abuse cycle. 

• Idealization: The love bomber showers the other person with gifts and affection early on in the relationship. There may be feelings of sudden romance or intense love/caring. The love bomber will confess their love for the other person and what their future plans are. This constant communication and interest seems genuine, but it often isn’t.
• Devaluation: All of the grand gestures and compliments can make the person on the receiving end of the love bombing very comfortable. Gaining that comfort level can cause the love bomber to demand more of the other person’s time. They become irritated if they don’t get what they want and may attempt to gaslight or become violent. That is when the person should notice the red flags and get out of the relationship. 
• Discarding: If the person realizes that the love bomber’s behavior is unhealthy, confront them and try to establish boundaries. The love bomber may retaliate, refusing to cooperate. They may even go so far as to blame the other person for their actions, making them feel at fault. It’s also possible for the love bomber to move on and find a new replacement partner. 

The Takeaway

To conclude, love bombing is a manipulative tactic that is common among people with narcissistic personality disorder. It’s a tactic to gain control in a relationship, often to make the other person feel dependent on that person. Love bombing happens quickly, so be on the lookout for this unhealthy behavior early on in the relationship.

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