What is the secret to a healthy, romantic relationship? Before we can answer that, we have to first determine what a healthy relationship is. They don’t look the same for everyone because everyone has different needs. Not only that, but needs surrounding affection, space, sex, hobbies, shared values, communication, and more can change over time. That’s why a healthy relationship that works for you in your 20s may not work for you in your 30s. 

It is hard to say that a relationship that goes against the norm isn’t healthy. People who practice polyamory or ethical non-monogamy may define a healthy relationship differently than a couple that practices monogamy. That’s why the term “healthy relationship” is broad and what makes one relationship thrive may threaten another one. One thing that all healthy relationships share, though, is adaptability. People change as they journey through life and relationships, so adapting to circumstances is vital. Here’s some advice to help you establish a stronger, healthier relationship. 

Individuality

A healthy relationship does not exist if you or your partner is codependent. Instead, you want an interdependent relationship, which means you rely on each other for mutual support while maintaining your own unique identity and individuality. That essentially means that you have a balanced relationship. You each have mutual love and approval, but self-esteem isn’t dependent on each other. Maintain connections and friends outside the relationship and spend time pursuing personal interests and hobbies. 

Trust

Trust is not going through a partner’s phone and not feeling the need to hide anything about yourself. There is inherent integrity and honesty within the relationship. You don’t worry about the other person pursuing others while you’re apart. Trust is much more than believing your partner will be faithful and honest. Feeling safe and comfortable with the understanding that you won’t hurt each other physically or emotionally is trust. You have your partner’s best interests in mind and that they respect your own choices and encourage you to be your own person. 

Curiosity

One of the trademarks of a healthy relationship is curiosity. Each party is interested in each other’s thoughts, goals, and daily life. You are excited to hear about the other person’s day and tell them about your own day. You both want to grow together and don’t fixate on who you both used to or could be. The goal is to hold flexible mindsets about each other because that can help you overcome obstacles in a relationship, and ultimately make it more fulfilling. 

Playfulness

Sure, playfulness in the bedroom is perfectly welcome, but that’s not what this pearl of wisdom is referring to. One of the best things you can do in your relationship is make time for fun and spontaneity. Joke and laugh together because you never know when one of you will encounter one of life’s many challenges. An obstacle can temporarily change the tone of the relationship, but being able to share laughter in lighter moments can help relieve that weight and strengthen your bond over time. 

Time Apart

A healthy relationship involves spending time together, but the amount of time varies based on personal needs, commitments, living arrangements, and work. One of the keys to a successful relationship is time apart. You need to be able to recognize the need for personal space and individual hobbies. Spend time with family on your own or pursue a hobby with a group of friends. What you do doesn’t matter, but what does matter is not spending every moment of your relationship together. The last thing you want to believe is that your relationship will crumble if you spend time apart. 

Open Communication

In a healthy relationship, you can regularly discuss successes, failures, and everything in between. You should not feel uncomfortable talking about any issues with your partner. Be free in your communication, whether it is about work, mental health symptoms, or even a friend that causes stress. A great partner may have a different opinion, but will listen without judgment before sharing their perspective. Just remember that communication goes both ways, so make sure your partner also feels like their voice is concerned.

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In hard times when you have nothing or the best of times when you have everything, there is always room for gratitude. It’s a powerful habit to form, but it takes discipline to make it a regular part of your life. Too often do people take things for granted, but expressing gratitude can make you happier, reduce anxiety levels, or put a smile on someone else. There is time to savor each moment, be it a walk with a loved one or food on the table. 

Clinical psychologists explain that gratitude can influence your mental health. Studies show that being more grateful allows the brain to develop connections that have positive associations. When you are grateful, you focus on what is instead of what isn’t or what could have been. This practice keeps you in the present moment, the only moment in your life that you can completely control. 

During the holiday season, people start to think about gratitude more and more. There are so many people who struggle on a daily basis, and it seems irresponsible to ignore that struggle when you look at your own life. Be grateful for everything you have and all the things you don’t have. Treasure what you have because the path to happiness starts with gratitude. Below, you’ll find both big and small things to be grateful for.

Pets

For many people, there is no greater companionship than that of a pet who loves you. A pet can easily put a smile on your face and comfort you when you need it. Pets love you unconditionally, and that love is rare and pure. Appreciate your pet(s) and all that you share with them. 

Good Friends

If you manage to build strong friendships with a few people, then you are blessed. One of the easiest things to be thankful for is a core group of friends. People that stand by your side in moments of greatness and sadness are truly special and deserve appreciation.

Nourishment

Be it a breakfast sandwich, granola bar, smoothie, salad, or burger, food is a gift. It is so easy to take the food you eat for granted! It fuels you for daily activities and can bring a smile to your face. Without proper nourishment, you would not be able to do so many things. 

Kindness

Some argue that kindness is a rarity in the present day, but you can spot kindness almost everywhere. Knowing that kindness is out there can restore your faith in humanity. Witnessing kindness can inspire others to be better people, and perhaps they plant kindness seeds for others to see. If someone helped you overcome a difficult time, let that be enough to spark gratitude within you.

Your Body

Sure, you can wish that your body was a different shape or had different features, but the reality is that your body is amazing. It does so much to keep you alive, which is something to be grateful for. When you accept your body for all the things it does and how it helps you enjoy so many things in life, your physical and mental health tend to benefit. 

Nature

It’s a lot easier to appreciate nature when you go to it, as opposed to seeing it through your social feed. Water, clean air, trees, mountains, and more are held together by a beautiful force. When you are grateful for these things, you can develop a deep sense of accountability to help preserve them. Doing your part to take care of the environment can inspire others to do the same.

Family

Life is so much easier to bear when you have the loving presence of others. Whether you are with your parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, children, or grandparents, family is worthy of gratitude. Family can also mean your chosen group of people that make up your constellation. Cherish each person who brings love and comfort into your life.

Sunshine

Besides being a loving light that brightens the day, the sun helps to keep you warm and helps plants grow. Without the sun, we would be nothing. Whenever you get a moment, walk outside and stand in the sunlight for a few minutes. We guarantee that it will put a smile on your face and ignite gratitude. 

Learning From Mistakes

The ability to learn from your mistakes is truly a gift. It’s something that is only the privilege of humans because we can comprehend what went wrong and how not to repeat that moving forward. Be thankful that we have been blessed with this ability!

Having A Home

Shelter, or a roof over your head, is a luxury. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have shelter, so be grateful for the one you have, no matter how big, small, rented, or owned it is. The fact that you have a place to reside and rest is one of the biggest things you can be grateful for in this life.

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Sometimes life can be terrible, or tragic, or scary, or lonely, or sad. We all have bad days sometimes. But regardless of the current circumstances, it is important to remember that everything will be okay.

While people enjoy the good and happy parts of their lives, we often learn more from the bad. Try to believe that everything in life happens for a reason, even if that reason is not immediately apparent. Believe in your capacity to learn from mistakes and bad experiences.

It’s not what happens to us that matters, but rather how we choose to respond. In any and everything that happens to us, we always have a choice in our response. Consider alternate ways of viewing these setbacks.

You just got fired from your job?

Look at it like this, you have just been freed to get the job you’ve always wanted, or that long-awaited vacation to Hawaii, or the leap of faith into finding your life’s guiding purpose and heart’s desire.

Always look for the best in a situation. You have the choice and free will to do so. And remember, you can and will find another job. Just believe and know you can and will!

You just got divorced from your husband or wife?

You may still love the person despite hard feelings (anger, bitterness, sadness, and frustration) lingering in your heart and mind, but the truth of the matter is that the relationship was no longer healthy. You and your partner came together to fulfill a purpose (to have children, learn a life lesson or lessons, experience marriage, etc.) and now that purpose has been fulfilled. It is time to move on. That person was only a minor soul mate who has helped prepare you for your ultimate soul mate.

Remember all the past relationships you have had. Had others not ended, you would not have been free to enter into the next relationship with the next person. Even though one aspect of the relationship has ended, it is perfectly normal for feelings of love and friendship to linger. Focus on the good memories and experiences you had with your partner, and look forward to creating new and better memories with someone you are more compatible with.

Each relationship prepares you for your ultimate relationship and if that relationship has not come yet, know that it is coming just as all of your past relationships have come. So thank your former mate and the situation (divorce, break up) that has allowed you to be freed up in order to be available for a better relationship that is soon coming to you; and if you are wise you won’t immediately jump into another relationship (on the rebound) but begin to work on yourself (your attributes or qualities, emotional state, mental state, spirituality, etc.). You can always attain another mate and relationship and you eventually will (if you just believe and know it).

Okay, somebody just stole your car?

Look at it as whoever stole your car freed you up to get a newer and better car. If you can’t immediately get another car and now have to walk and/or use public transportation, recognize that you are being environmentally conscious and doing the Earth a big favor. By walking or riding the bus or train, perhaps you will meet someone you need to meet that you probably would not meet if you were in a car. Maybe there’s an exciting new place you will discover by walking or by riding the bus or train. Riding public transportation will allow you to save the necessary money to purchase your next car. In the meantime, you don’t have to worry about high gas prices, car maintenance, traffic tickets, gridlock, road rage, and parking.

Always look for the good in a situation and you will find it. Realize that you can and will get another car.

You are involved in a legal matter and soon have to go to court?

Is this really a bad thing? Remember, you have a choice in how you perceive and respond to things. Legal matters should make us look at ourselves inwardly pertaining to situations of honesty, equity or justice, being fair, being unbiased and non-prejudiced; respecting the rights and property of others, and living righteously.

You just got evicted or your house just went into foreclosure?

Well, maybe it is time for you to recognize what truly constitutes home. Home is a reflection of self and when you become secure within yourself, you can never be evicted or removed. At the end of the day it all boils down to perception. Challenges can be seen as ways to prove ourselves and test our characters.

So regardless of what you may be experiencing, know that everything will be okay. Whatever it is you are going through at present, simply remember to stay positive and keep a strong mental attitude and outlook. Be grateful for all that you have, count your blessings, have faith in victory in the end, know that the situation or event is helping to reveal your true character and working for your greater good, and most importantly, know that you are learning a very valuable life lesson.

A day will come whereby you’ll look back on the present situation at hand and just laugh.

Whatever the thing or situation at hand may be, it will soon pass. Take a few deep breaths and believe in your ability to emerge on the other side, stronger and wiser.

Thank you for reading.

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Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Whether it’s a fear of spiders, airplanes, or public speaking, everyone has suffered from fear at one point or another. Clammy hands, quickened breathing-we all know the signs. What is less well known, however, is how to vanquish fear.

Conquering Your Fears

The best way to conquer your fears is to first accept them.

As with any shortcoming, acceptance goes a long way towards recovery. Yet there is a distinction between acceptance and complacence. Do not resign yourself to fear. On the contrary, challenge yourself to face it down!

Once you walk in the direction of your fear and acquaint yourself with your terrors, they begin to dissolve. All illusions dissolve or wear off eventually; fear is nothing but an illusion. Even though fear is an illusion, it is dangerously powerful. It may appear real from a distance, yet it is only real when you make up your mind to believe in it.

When you challenge your fears by facing them, you gain knowledge of the fear and can view it in a rational and objective manner. It is very human to be afraid or fearful at times, but fear should never last long. Fear should never consume us.

Look at Fear Differently

Yet as terrible as fear is to experience, perhaps we need to change our perspective of it. Instead of viewing it as a problem and a vice, imagine it as a seed or nut that can be cracked open, manifesting many sought after answers to life’s many puzzling questions.

In every problem lies the answer to solve the problem.

When looked at from this angle, we are given problems throughout life so as to be given answers throughout life. Receiving and applying (or living) the answers we seek help us to grow and evolve mentally, emotionally, spiritually and on so many other planes and levels.

From this wise perspective, fear is an ally and not an enemy. If we see problems and challenges as things that help us, problems and challenges are beneficial. Fear should be no different. If we see fear as something that can help us, fear is beneficial.

Now on the other hand, if we see fear as something bad, dreadful, or negative, then we shape our perspective of fear and will only reap negative results from fear pursuant to the Law of Attraction. Undoubtedly, you will attract what you fear.

The thing you fear will always come upon you if you get stuck or trapped in your fear pursuant to repetitious thought.

There is only one thing that causes fear to dissolve and that is doing the thing you fear; in other words, walking in the direction of your fear to face it head on. And let me tell you, some find it easier to face their fears after putting knowledge and faith in a higher power such as religion or some form of spiritual guidance.

When you know and believe you are truly protected by this higher power from all harm in this world of man, it’s not so unpleasant to face your fear.

Faith Trumps Fear

Facing and overcoming fear can actually strengthen your faith.

Overcoming fear as well as other challenges in life causes your faith (in God, Universe, Higher Self, etc.) to blossom and strengthen. Whatever we go through in life, God, Higher Power, or Universe (or whatever else we may choose to call it) is always there with and for us, so really, what’s to fear?

The stronger the faith and trust in what we believe (e.g. Higher Power), the less powerful and less lived the fear (or problem or challenge) will be.

You never have to fear the outcome of anything if you shape the outcome in advance. It is said that the best way to predict the future is to create it. The same thing should apply to outcomes – the best way to predict an outcome is to shape it or create it yourself.

Believe in yourself. Think positively and feel confident. You are the only one who can free yourself from fear. Set small goals and take baby steps, if necessary. And imagine how liberating it will feel to know that you have conquered a formerly crippling fear and can finally experience true freedom. Even if you lose your confidence the first few attempts, keep trying. Every marathon begins with the first few steps.

You can do it!

Thank you for reading!

This article is compliments of Dherbs.com.

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People acquire strength in what they overcome. Trials and tribulations do not necessarily shape character; these things simply demonstrate character. Adversity acts as a litmus test to reveal what is already there. From the moment of birth, one’s character is constantly being defined and established. As wonderful as success is, it rarely offers the opportunity to reveal one’s strength of character. Such moments arise only from negative situations.

Character is not shaped, but revealed-revealed through overcoming trials, tribulations, ordeals, challenges, and problems with a sound mind.

Morbid as it may sound, it is very true that what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger. Hardship gives us the opportunity to learn valuable things about ourselves through undergoing mental, emotional, and physical trials. Such lessons can be invaluable and will frequently help us later in our lives.

Moreover, hard times do more than merely reveal one’s character. They help us become more aware of our personal ethics, morals, and scruples, as well as what we stand for in our life. It’s easy to have theoretical principles. On the other hand, maintaining one’s principles during times of adversity demonstrates great strength of character.

For many people, overcoming obstacles strengthens faith in many different things. Such things include religion, other people, themselves (in terms of abilities, talents, character), as well as solutions (figuring out how to solve or overcome the obstacle). As the obstacles we face become heavier and heavier, and with each one we successfully overcome, our faith in such things gets stronger and stronger. The increase in faith is usually in proportion to the intensity of the obstacle, challenge, trial, tribulation, or problem; so, the bigger the problem, the stronger the faith on the other side after emerging victoriously.

People with positive thinking would argue that we experience problems for two reasons: to overcome them, and to learn from them.

There is no trial, tribulation, challenge, obstacle, or problem too powerful or insurmountable for any of us to overcome if we make up our minds to tackle it head on. With a sound and sober mind, patience, and the courage to keep trying, we become invincible. Try it and see! Believe in yourself, and you can accomplish many great and wonderful things. You are much stronger than even the toughest and most complex obstacle.

If we stay focused on the prize, remain steadfast in our trust and belief in ourselves, decide to persevere and be persistent, remain optimistic, and embrace a positive mental attitude, we are bound to come out on the other side of any trial, tribulation, obstacle, challenge, or problem in one piece, stronger in faith, and victorious.

Every problem has an answer. That answer may not always be simple or easy to find. It may take days or weeks of thinking and consideration. You may need to ask for help or advice from others, and there is nothing wrong with that. If you are in school, many institutions offer counseling services for free or very reasonable rates. If you ask for help from your friends or family, the odds are that someone has already endured your situation or at least a similar one and will be able to offer good insight.

The most important part is to remain positive and keep trying. Most major problems were not solved in a day, or even a week. If you find yourself getting frustrated, take a break. Go for a run or take a long shower. Try to relax and don’t push yourself too much.

Answers can also be found in surprising places. Consider going to the library and cruising through the shelves. You never know where inspiration will strike. And if nothing else, the library is filled with books of motivational stories and about people who have overcome incredible obstacles. If Franklin Roosevelt could be stricken by polio and still rise to the presidency, surely you too can overcome your personal obstacle. Or consider Helen Keller, who managed to communicate with people and the world despite being both blind and mute.

The world is filled with amazing people, and you are one of them! Challenges are not to be feared or even merely endured, but rather triumphed over! Be confident and trust in your abilities. When given a burden, we all have the choice to sink or rise to the occasion. Be strong and embrace the challenge! After conquering the challenge, you will feel strong and invincible. Adversity has not conquered you, for you are only stronger for what you have experienced. The world is yours!

Thank you for reading!

This article is compliments of Dherbs.com

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