The holiday season can be very uplifting for a lot of people, but not everyone feels that way. It’s very common for stress to overwhelm the mind and body during this time of year. Perhaps the stress of finding the perfect gift for your loved ones proves too much. Hosting a large family gathering, or traveling to meet family can also induce a lot of stress.
What Are Healthy Boundaries?
Mental health experts agree that setting clear boundaries can make a big difference in preserving your mental and emotional health. A healthy boundary can be defined as such: your list of what is okay and what is not okay. That means you have to clearly establish what you are comfortable with before encountering certain situations. Perhaps you are sober and attend a holiday party. Some friends or family members come and try to get you to drink, but you have to let them know that you are content without imbibing. Your uncle treats you like a child even though you are 40 years old. Whatever the case, you feel frustrated, and that is where healthy boundaries enter the equation.Â
Define Priorities
Before you even think about setting boundaries, make sure you understand what your priorities are. Are there aspects of the holiday season that are meaningful to you? Is it important to spend time with immediate family, reconnect with old friends, or spend time alone? Make sure to understand your priorities, as that understanding will guide you to set boundaries that set you up for success.
Communicate Openly
Do not be afraid to share your intentions and needs with people. If they truly care about you, then they will respect these boundaries because they are important to you. Honest conversations can prevent conflict and misunderstanding. In fact, your loved ones are more likely to respect your wishes if you explain where you are coming from and why these boundaries matter.
Create A Budget
This is more of a personal boundary that can help you avoid stress regarding gift giving. Financial stress is very common during the holidays, as many people often spend beyond their means. Setting a budget for holiday spending can help you avoid financial stress. That means that you have to plan your budget for holiday gifts, travel, and entertainment expenses ahead of time. The most important thing: stick to that budget!
Politely Decline
You do not have to say yes to every single party invitation or holiday request that comes your way. There is great power in the ability to say no. You can politely decline when you need to, and remember that it is perfectly acceptable to do so. In fact, saying no to things is a great way to conserve your energy for things that matter the most. Whether you know it or not, saying know is a great way to practice self-care and set boundaries simultaneously.
Prioritize Self-Care
Speaking of self-care, it is very easy to forget about yourself during the holidays. It is difficult to take care of yourself when there is so much to do. Find moments for yourself and do things you love during those moments. Go to the gym, watch a movie, read a book, meditate, or practice writing in a journal. Do not be afraid to recharge your batteries and show yourself love. Consider gifting yourself a massage or facial!
Congratulate Yourself
You stood your ground, you said no, you shared what mattered to you, and then some. Great job! Being vulnerable, honest, and respectful is not easy, but you did it! Sometimes, it takes a little force to establish boundaries, but people will respect them if they care about you. People may get upset at your boundaries, but don’t worry about that. Setting boundaries will help you feel more confident about setting new ones when the time comes. At that time, you’ll have the knowledge and power to set them even more clearly!
