It can be very difficult to see a partner, a friend even, struggling with their mental help. They fall into a slump and that can strain the relationship. For anyone in a long-term relationship, a mental health slump will likely occur at some point. In fact, about 50% of Americans will experience some form of mental illness at some point during their lifetime.
How do you approach a partner who is experiencing a mental health slump? There are supportive strategies that can be highly beneficial for both of you. Just remember that you are there for your partner, even in times of hardship. Continue reading to learn how you can help support a partner who is struggling.
No Toxic Positivity Allowed
There is no need to be an ever-positive ray of sunshine when it comes time to help a partner in need. There is no need to say things like, “Be positive!” Don’t remind them how much they have to be grateful for because that will usually cause them to feel shame. It may also make them feel as though you misunderstand their situation.
Do Not Ignore The Situation
Ignoring something does not make it go away. The last thing you want to do is bottle up feelings and hope for the best, and you shouldn’t want that for your partner either. Do not ignore your partner’s mental health slump because that will only cause them to feel more isolated. Begin the dialogue and proceed in a gentle way.
Begin The Conversation Sensitively
Ideally, you should approach this conversation with a sensitive and delicate touch. Your partner is in a fragile state, so begin with a phrase like, “I’ve been thinking about you and I’m curious how you are doing.” You can also say something like, “I care about you and want to be here for you.” Ask if there is a special way that you can support them, as you may not be aware of how to do that.
Be Clear On How They Want To Be Supported
Everyone requires their own solutions for their given difficulties. Some people may choose or not choose to accept support. That is why it is paramount for you to get clear about your partner’s needs. Perhaps they need you to just be there and be silent, or you take walks together. Understanding and respecting your partner during their mental health challenges will only strengthen the connection between both of you. Plus, your relationship will remain in better standing as you support them, while also allowing them to experience their own symptoms.
Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice
It is almost human nature to offer advice or suggestions when someone is in need. There is a time and place for advice, though. Sometimes, the best advice you can give is nothing at all. Oftentimes, your presence and quiet time is appreciated above all else. Just be there for your partner, show them respect, and understand that they are going through a mental health slump. Your relationship will likely become stronger when you offer your support and allow them to work through their depressive symptoms.
Validate Your Partner
People usually crave validation and safety in times of hardship. They want to feel love and there is nothing wrong with them wanting that. Even if your partner feels shame, confusion, or anger, use phrases like, “I can see that you are struggling and how much effort you’re putting forth.” You can also say something like, “What you are saying and feeling is understandable.”
Make Plans To Do Something Fun
It is very common for mental health issues to tell the person lies. For example, a person’s mind may tell them that they will not enjoy an activity that usually invites joy. You should suggest and plan activities that can help shift your partner’s energy. If they are really against the suggestion, though, do not force them to engage. Your suggestions can be very low-maintenance, such as going for a walk or hike, playing a board game, or getting a massage.
Know Your Own Limits
For your own mental health, make sure that you know where the line in the sand is. There is a distinction between being a partner and being your partner’s therapist. You can always encourage your partner to find support, be that in the form of a therapist, life coach, or support group. That doesn’t mean that you abandon your partner; rather, it just reaffirms the boundaries in your relationship. You are not your partner’s sole emotional caretaker!
