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How to Revive Your Spirit

Nothing we do with so much heart and intention is completely lost. There is something you gained from the experience it - identify and build on it. http://dherbs.com/uploads/news/id9163/diversefriendsthumb.jpg
On October 15th, 2008, I found myself hovering over a glittering Buenos Aires, expansive and golden from where I sat perched in the night sky. As I peered out the window, nervous with excitement, I wondered which cluster of lights illuminated my future nest. 
 
I had never been more open than when I took off boundlessly to Buenos Aires. Yet, months later, I found myself back in a cold, gray New York City with a broken heart, no money, and no clue how to bounce back.
 
Moving to Buenos Aires was the result of years of meditation, coaxing and savings. It had begun two years prior while I was still working in a cubicle job that stifled me. 
 
At that time, Argentina wasn’t a real place—it didn’t yet have teeth and bones or a pulse. It was an ethereal representation of where my life would begin, if I could just get there. When I was in despair, I’d search Google and daydream. What I found blended together into a romantic and promising visual feast. I felt in my heart that Argentina held something for me. It would be the place where I’d finally find and live my truth.  
 
By the Winter of 2007, I’d made a secret plan to move there. I quit the cubicle job, switched careers and went freelance all at once, an experience that gave me courage to head into the unknown. By June 2008 I had a ticket, and I started to tell people about my plan to move to the Southern Hemisphere.  I was ready to follow my heart and see where it led. 
 
Buenos Aires welcomed me with open arms. I made friends quickly and began to host dinner parties and establish a routine. On top of it all, an acquaintance from NYC had joined me at the last minute, and I was falling in love. I gave thanks for having the courage to free up my life, to get over my fears enough for this all to be possible. I was actively creating the life I wanted.
 
Unfortunately, it was the end of 2008 and things were falling apart. The economy in the States had plummeted, and so had the possibility of establishing a company to support my life in Argentina. Despite my desire for my relationship to grow, it had begun to cool. As his departure date grew near, it was clear we’d be saying goodbye.  
 
Feeling alone and unsure, I returned to the States. My friends and family welcomed me with enough warmth to eclipse the Argentine sun, yet I felt disconnected, unhinged, mechanical. There was nothing to do but fight to put my life back together, and so I got to work. 
 
Within two months, I had a job and an apartment in Brooklyn again. While I was grateful, I couldn’t help but feel that I’d reverted back to an old life. All of my daring and faith had landed me right back where I’d started. I couldn’t see the value in Argentina. I felt I had failed myself, and I was afraid to have a dream again.
 
Last week I launched OPEN (One Person’s Evolving Narrative), a video series and blog that explores the relationship between self discovery and travel. We sponsor individuals in transitional moments to go on a trip of their choosing that has the potential to reveal something about themselves and where they are in life, on a personal level. The mission of OPEN is to give the gift of travel, and help individuals take big steps in their personal journeys.
 
OPEN is a continuation of my lifelong desire to see more of this world, and help others do the same. In order to give OPEN life I had to first change my story about Argentina—from a heart-breaking failure to a valuable experience that's brought me to where I am. Changing my outlook has allowed me to reconnect with my purpose and pursue my dream again.
 
So how does one revive their spirit after a perceived failure? What do you do when the journey does not turn out as expected? Here are a few practices that have helped me recharge:
 
1. Find the benefit in the "failure." Nothing we do with so much heart and intention is completely lost. There is something you gained from the experience it - identify and build on it.  
 
2. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Vulnerability can be uncomfortable, yet you're never more open to tap into yourself and identify what's most important and let that inform your next steps.  
 
3. Trust the process. Though things might not have turned out as you’d hoped, there is a reason why you ventured out in the first place, and a reason why it turned out as it did.  Accept the state of things so that you can move forward.
 
4. Surround yourself with people who know and believe in you. They will be your sounding board and remind you of who you are when you lose sight.
 
5. Record your journeyjournal, blog, document your thoughts and experiences. Being able to look back and remember yourself and your journey as you regain your strength is invaluable. It's a wonderful way to dreamscape your future.

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Related Questions Ask A Question

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    Q: I read that illness is a spirit/soul problem that then manifests in the body? How does one heal his/her soul/spirit?

    A:

    THIS IS VERY TRUE IN MANY RESPECTS! I'D HAVE TO WRITE A BOOK TO REALLY BREAK IT ALL DOWN OR EXPLAIN IT.

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    Q: How Do I Get Rid of A Negative Entity (Spirit) in my House?

    A:

    Kindly but firmly request or demand that the entity leave your home. Tell the spirit it is not invited and you do not wish its presence to remain in your home. Strike singing bowls (quartz made) or Tibetan bowls daily. Burn incense of Sage, Dragon's Blood, Myrrh, or White Copal of which help to banish negative spirits and forces. You can also burn essential oils of Niaouli, Sandalwood, Chamomile (Yellow or Roman), and Myrrh in a diffuser. Saturate your home with black and/or brown crystals, i.e. Black Tourmaline, Onyx, Dravitz, Jet, Black Obsidian, Smokey Quartz, etc. Also say positive affirmations throughout the day. Summons your angels to protect you and to assist you in getting the negative entity to leave your home. Ask the Universe to send you to someone or for someone to come to you to help you (if you are having difficulty locating a qualified spiritualist in your city or town).

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    Q: How Do I Get Rid of A Negative Entity (Spirit) in my Body?

    A:

    Have your chakras aligned and balanced, preferably by someone skilled in this science and skill (chakra balancing). Kindly but firmly request or demand that the entity leave your body. Tell the sprit it is not invited and you do not wish its presence to remain in your body. Strike singing bowls (quartz made) or Tibetan bowls daily. Burn incense of Sage, Dragon's Blood, Myrrh, or White Copal of which help to banish negative spirits and forces. You can also bathe in water, sea salt, and essential oils of Niaouli, Sandalwood, Chamomile (Yellow or Roman), and Myrrh. Wear crystal jewelry made of black and/or brown crystals, i.e. Black Tourmaline, Onyx, Dravitz, Jet, Black Obsidian, Smokey Quartz, etc. Though purple in color, amethyst is a highly spiritually protective stone and should be worn and/or carried with you daily. Also say positive affirmations throughout the day. Become a beacon of positivity. Summons your angels to protect you and to assist you in getting the negative entity to leave your body. Contact a qualified spiritualist to assist you if you feel you need assistance. Ask the Universe to send you to someone or for someone to come to you to help you (if you are having difficulty locating a qualified spiritualist in your city or town).

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    Q: I just thank the lord that I found your website!! Your articles are the best!! Wow...I feel like I am having a conversation with an old friend that I never met!!! May God continue to bless and keep you!! You are awesome..thank you so much for speaking from the heart & spirit to enlighten us!!! You say the things that we feel but have no "proof" of. I thank you so much for your validation on so many levels.

    A:

    RESPONSE: Gosh! Thank you for your words, beloved. They are a motivation to and for me. Peace and Love!

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    Q: Is it possible for a mother, and daughter to still share an aura after the age of two? If so, why? What would be the purpose of such a thing?

    A:

    By age 2 a child usually develops their own aura unless mother, and child have a unique tight bond. A child is influenced a lot by its mother's energy (aura), so it is not uncommon for a mother's aura to be the same as her child's past the age of 2. It could also be that both simply operate from the same emotions. The mother may have the spirit of child due to being spiritual.

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    Q: I was wondering do you do health/spiritual consultations over the phone. I live in Virginia and I have been listening to you via Innerlightradio with Spirit Halima. I believe that 100 percent of what you say in on the money concerning health and spirituality and my son and I are need of Spiritual and Health Consultations.

    A:

    Thank you for your words! Yes, I perform tele-consultations ($100 per session) Monday - Friday, 9 A.M. - 6 P.M. PST

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    Q: I wondered why I had such a strong connection to you. I understand now after reading some of your articles. My mother is a Aries, and my father is a Libra. I'am a Taurus Female, and my ex-husband is a Virgo. My current man friend is a Virgo, and my daughter is a Capicorn. After reading your manuals, and articles on a daily bases. Everything is much clearer now. I hope to meet you someday. Maybe in New York this summer, or when you come to the QC know as Charlotte, NC. I love your spirit. Thanks for all you do. In Love and in Light.

    A:

    I'm glad my articles gave you some clarity on some things. Great to hear! Wow! We have so many similarities! I'm a Taurus, my wife is a Virgo, my mother was Aries and my father Libra! Wow! Interesting! Stay tuned to Dherbs.com and may you continue to enjoy reading our articles.

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    Q: I am terrified of all men. I've been extremely abused by the males in my family, sexually, mentally, and spiritually. Starting with father, brothers, and men in general from the age of 6 years old and into adulthood.

    A:

    From our perspective you are an amazing testament to the vast capacity of the spirit, to survive and grow in any situation. You are a brave young woman that is receiving life lesson on a magnitude, that most could not comprehend. Your mission now is to do do some real deep self healing and love work. Once you do that you will be able to overcome your fears, and attract a loving partner. You have been through so much trauma. It may be best if you start with a therapist or counseling program to help you make peace with your situation. Then you can think about your future with the opposite sex from there. We send you love and encouragement always. Please plug into our social media to access positive messages of love and partnership. Focusing on what you want will help you to heal too.

    Bless you my dear.

    Sending love and light.

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    Q: Who do you believe in? What is your spiritual belief? I noticed that the supplements have Egyptian people and symbols - why is this?

    A:

    I believe in the Universe, Nature, the spirit world, and magic. I believe in the ability of one to take hold of their own life and direct the course of one's own destiny.

    I don't believe in anything mad-made, including religion, which has helped to greatly mess up the world and confuse the hell out of people.

    I believe in the unity of the human family. I believe in peace, freedom, justice, and love!

    I use Egyptian people and symbols because these people were the ancestors of great people from lost continents that were super-human beings. Modern civilization came from the Nile Valley. The Egyptians were an awesome people and most of your modern major arts, crafts, and sciences came out of Egypt including healing.

    I am acknowledging the Egyptians with their symbols on my bottles.

    However, the picture on the bottle is not the power, but the herbs in the capsules within each and every bottle of every formula sold.

    I trust the above suffices your inquiry!

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    Q: May Jah continue to bless you as you bless others. You're wonderful and it pours through your words. I agree whole-heartedly with you're approach to healing. I'm conscious of the fact that 'lots' needs to be changed in order to throughly and hollistically cleanse and heal thyself. And I'm working on my fears and guilt, that I know get in the way of healing, and continualy strengthening my spirit, which I know is the foundation of "real" health. But I'm interested in some of your products too for cleansing and giving my body a kick start to my lifestyle changes. Here's what I'm dealing with. 1. PCOS: the insulin resitance and hormonal imbalance is causing lots of issues i.e. acne, hair growth, and irregular cycles maybe infertility and possibly the small cyst on my ovary. (I've come off of the "Medical Pimps" prescribed birth control and metformine and I'm going to weekly acupuncture sessions and drinking a potent Chinese herbal tea daily.) 2. HPV: I just found out I have genital warts and severe abnormal cells on my cervix. I had the cells removed but never went back to check up...the whole thing has turned me off to doctors and how they deal with disease and healing, I felt like I knew more than they did, and mostly becasued I was intune with my body and they were just prescribing not willing to really deal with the issue at hand. So...(I'll tie this up) I'm interested in the following products but would love your advice on which order to take them(to be most effective) or whether I should at all... 1. 10-DAY SUPREME COLON CLEANSE 2. FULL BODY DETOX 3. ANTI-VIRAL CLEANSE AND REGIMEN 4. TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE They all seem like they'd work well together and in that order. How soon after one another can they be done? Also...This pancreas kit, I dont wanna 'overdo it' but what about that..too much? I should probably schedule a tele-conference, but you're reply would be appreciated for now...I have a feeling we'll be connecting soon. Ya Spirit is Beautifully Blessed Brother.

    A:

    Thank you for your words, Beloved, and your interest in Dherbs.Com! Here's what I would recommend for you (in the proper order): 1. FULL BODY DETOX 2. TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE 3. 10-DAY SUPREME COLON CLEANSE 4. ANTI-VIRAL CLEANSE AND REGIMEN Wait about 3,5, or 7 days before you begin your next kit! Make sure you drink DETOX TEAand FEMALE HEALTH TEA during all of your cleanses (all 4 of them)! Please read some of our free articles to educate yourself as well! Peace and Love!

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    Q: I would like to know what I can do to get my boyfriend back? It's been 5 months since we've been broken up, I have trust issues. I texted him form another number. I love him dearly though. It's as if we've been broken up since yesterday, I cannot get him off my mind or out of my system. I have to have my Papa Bear back!

    A:

    You must first work on your trust issues. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone that does not trust them. This is a sign from the Universe that you need to do some self improvement. Most people with trust issues do not love themselves, and have a fear of being vulnerable. You must love yourself, and be able to be vulnerable to attract the kind of love you want. This is your opportunity to clean up this negative energy in yourself. If you do not, this will keep happening to you. It's time to love yourself, and then you will get your man! You can try to call him and tell him you miss him, and you want to work on the relationship. If he is open he will respond. Tell him you know you have issues and you are working on them. If he does not respond, work on yourself anyway. This is about you not him. You can do it!
    Sending love and light!

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    Q: If you could briefly answer this question I would appreciate it as it ties in with a question I asked you previously. I've read your Mental Science, Life Purpose, as well as your Money, Wealth, and Prosperity E -books. I am reading them all for a 2nd time. I'm a person of future thought and I like to set big but reasonably attainable goals for myself. However, my progress has been rather slow over the years. And I'm wondering if it is the result of having too many goals. I aim to reach a level of mastery as a musician, writer/author, martial artist, and real estate entrepreneur. These are all things I'm passionate about. More importantly, I want to travel the world pursuing music full-time, but the financial aspects of my life will greatly be benefited by real estate, and my health, focus, and fitness will be heightened and maintained through martial arts, and I also want to write. I only ask you this because you are successful, and so well-versed in so many areas. I feel pulled in so many directions at times, and feel like I need to just focus on one thing at a time. It seems like the most successful people in our society are those who focused on one thing and gave it their all. Please advise.

    A:

    A lot of goals are not bad, however, these goals must be prioritized based upon importance to you. Personally, I'd work my way up the ladder of goals, accomplish my smaller goals first so as to build up momentum, and to establish a resume of accomplished goals. Simply see yourself doing all that you desire, Beloved. You never know, all these goals of yours may be tied in to one another. It's like that for myself. Writing is my greatest outlet these days, because it allows me to express my passions: herbs, health, relationship, astrology, inspiration, law, money-finances, spirituality, etc. Start small and work your way up! Thank you for your patronage of my work.

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    Q: Do you believe a marriage can be healed? My husband has asked for a divorce and has begun dating women. I love him and would do practically anything for him, but he says he does not love me.

    A:

    There's not much you can do when another person claims to not love you. All you can do is love yourself and still love your husband and wish him the best in life. Release him! Don't stop him from what his heart desires to do (even if it hurts you in the process). LET GO and move on! If your husband is meant for you, he will come back to you. If he is not meant for you, then so be it. Take and remember the love you shared together and move forward with an open heart.

    Live in the moment and be thankful for all that you have in life at present. Think positive and loving thoughts during this time. Remember, your thoughts create your reality and destiny.

    Therefore, only hold good, loving thoughts of your husband.

    Peace and Love

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    Q: Before I knew about your herbs, like a year ago I went to check my reading glasses and the doctor told me my eye pressure was on the limit 120, nothing serious he said but,I should check every 3 months, so the nightmare started, this happened in my country Buenos Aires, Argentina. When I came back to Miami where I live I went to check again and of course after all my nerves and fears to lose my sight, my pressure went to 122, 123, and they found a narrow angle, I was desperate, start to go to serveral doctors looking for opinions, they told me I should have lasik in order to avoid any attack and lose my sight, imagine my desperation, I could not stop thinking negatively, terrible, I did lasik 3 months ago and next months I have to go to control my pressure again, I'm so scare I can't avoid thinking negative thoughts, I also got your Eye Formula already but because I was doing Full Body Cleanse, and now Weight Release Cleanse Regimen, still 2 more weeks, I was told to wait until I finished with the kits, I have pain in my eyes sometimes I know is me who create that, but I can't stop, I don't want to take my eye pressure, because I know they will tell me something else they always find something new, If I knew you a year before I will never do lasik, but now is already done, please I need your advise what can I do to heal my thinking my eyes pain, you are so great, my health have improve so much After Full Body Cleanse, also my daughter she did and now she is doing Anti-Viral Cleanse and me Weight Release Cleanse Regimen, because I believe so much in you, and your herbs you are the only one to help, because I know law of attraction works, I need to stop thinking about my eyes. Please help me, I also got positive thinking drops from your company.

    A:

    We suggest that you start reading as many of our free articles as possible to enlighten yourself. Make sure you read our Eye Problems article. This article offers good information. Follow the advice in this article to help improve your eyes. Get rid of your fear as it is harmful and cannot help you one bit. Know that everything is okay and will turn out fine. You must believe this if you desire healing. You can heal, keep eating right and keep taking the herbs. With positive thinking and proper diet you will heal yourself. 

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    Q: Dear Yogi, I read an article on your site about reverse Kundalini (anal sex). I don't know if you can answer my question or not - originally I was going to pose it to "Ask the Guru", but in my limited understanding, Kundalini is tied into yoga. I have been trying to get balanced by meditating, living my passions, writing, art, and belly dancing all unprofessionally, except for the first one (on a very small scale). I have been doing guided chakra meditations and other things, including yoga, and some dietary modifications. I feel I am gradually growing and living my purpose. However, incrementally starting in my mid forties. Anyway, I have been on this path for a couple of years now, and have more happiness and peace than I ever have. I don't want to get into a lengthy essay about my limited understanding of Kundalini, and the possibility of what I perceive is going on with my body (though I am very healthy) right now, so I will attempt to get to the point. I am grateful for my life. I have much more than many people if I were to measure. I feel like I am still blocked, though. About three years ago I dated a guy who sodomized me one time. He was a rapist, long story short and an error in judgement on my part. Though my intuition was screaming at me the whole time. I look at the experience as pushing me further along my path and teaching me to trust, love, respect myself, and defend my boundaries. What concerns me is that I feel that experience is still trapped within me to a degree, and I am worried that it will manifest into a disease. Often when I meditate on my root chakra I start crying. Part of me believes that I can't force anything, just have to let the process unfold in its own time. There is so much info out there that I find it overwhelming, and it is hard to know which to trust. So I have just been going with what resonates with me as far as technique. If you could offer me any advice, I would be grateful.

    A:

    Hello, I would like to first thank you for sharing your story and your experience. It sounds like you are devoting time and attention to the many things, that will help foster a sustained health and healing for you in life. As you have recognized, it is very helpful for us to take intuition very seriously and to honor this innate ability to discern whether a situation will be harmful or beneficial to our growth and experience as humans. Very often the circumstances and challenges presented to us in life, as happened in yours, serve as great teachers in allowing us to witness our own great strength, compassion, and value. I am glad to hear that you have been able to take the very difficult situation you found yourself in and use your experience to create a better understanding of yourself in the process. While it is true that we tend to develop patterns of holding and habitual ways of holding tension within the body; this does not mean that there are not steps you can take to move through such a body, mind, and spirit experience. The fact that you are crying upon meditating on your root chakra is a sign that you have made yourself available to the grief that naturally accompanies traumatic situations such as the one you experienced. Keep in mind that when we deeply grieve, our bodies are able to express the energy that may have potentially been repressed during this experience. The energy of the root chakra is all about our ability to feel safe, strong, and supported. The violation of this energy can leave one feeling ungrounded and striving for our self-preservation. Try not to become fixated on the worries you are having about the experience arising as disease in your body, as worrying can lead to increased levels of chronic stress, which will potentially create an internal environment more vulnerable to disease - which is what you are trying to avoid. It might be nice for you to meditate on your right to be here, to exist on this planet, and to be valued. It may also be very nice for you to take some restorative yoga classes, which can be grounding and stimulating to the parasympathetic nervous system (assists in the healing process). Recognize that the body may be holding energy in a direct response to a real threat, but begin to create a safe, loving and supportive environment to allow yourself to begin to be able to let go of this holding as you feel safe. When working to heal the first chakra, it is helpful to get in touch with the direct experience of the sensations of the body and become aware of the physical experience of the body. This can be done with the assistance of an expert, to help you change the physical expression of your felt experience. We could also do something called "body dialogue" to put you more deeply in touch with what the physical expression you are experiencing has to teach you about how you are inhabiting the world you are in. There are also many forms of grounding exercises which can help to balance the first chakra. If you are interested in being lead through a series of guided meditations, please contact me at megan@ritualwellbeing.com. Namaste, Megan

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    Q: I have been with my husband for 4 years, we've been married for 2 months. He's 24 and a cancer, I'm 21 and a scorpio. When things are good, they're wonderful. He's the sweetest, most loving, and affectionate husband ever. We have complete trust for each other, and a lot of commonality. We both believe a mass ascension is imminent, so we strive to keep alignment with our source. He does so much for me, and always is there when I really need him! He takes care of me when I am sick, and gives me a lot of love! Im vegan, and he stays away from all processed or inorganic foods. When we are together we have wonderful and enlightening conversations. We laugh, and spend days together truly enjoy each others company. Now here comes the downside, when we fight its NEVER about anything serious, it's usually about something incredibly silly. However, he closes up every time! The lack of communication, makes it difficult to express my feelings. As soon as I begin expressing them, his temper just gets set off. He starts screaming, cursing, and putting me down the first chance he gets. After he's treated me horribly, and I'm upset and crying. He calls me a baby, and his first approach is to leave and ignore me. Which quite frankly, drives me crazy! I know it shouldn't, but I just truly believe in communication and reasoning together and he never wants to! He prefers to turn a blind eye to his behavior! He treats me like **** when he is angry, and then leaves. When he comes back, (hours later, and he always goes to his dads) he always feels horrible. He cries sometimes, and tells me how he knows he cannot continue to lose his temper. He tells me he loves me too much, and I don't deserve to be treated that way. I genuinely feel he means it. But, then as soon as something happens that he doesn't want, or like he loses sight of everything he says.. He doesn't only do this to me but to everyone! Anytime he doesn't agree with something (whether he's ACTUALLY correct or not) he goes wild! Cursing, yelling, being very nasty and demeaning! For that brief moment he makes up in his head that he's right, and justifies all his behavior. He doesn't realize that his victimization is self-imposed, until later when he returns. Then he begins to realize, and the apologies commence. He's always done it, and has always promised to stop. I get mad when he does it to other people, and I get mad when he does it to me. I understand that no one is perfect and I understand you have to have love regardless. I even understand that I am attracting all this to myself somehow. I was also diagnosed with lichen planus 4 months ago. It's all over my body. I did the blood detox and urine therapy and thankfully, its all gone. But I still have ugly brown scars all over my body! Which means I still cannot be in the sun, and have to cover my entire body when I go out. I know I probably attracted that too! I have done affirmations. We have done affirmations nightly together. I have put up law of attraction posters. I try to consciously attract what I desire on a daily basis. I try to reason with him. I've tried everything I could think of. I'm not sure how to approach this issue in my relationship anymore. I just know I despise being disrespected and yelled at, regardless if he meant it or not. I believe in unconditional love and respect. Communication is a big part of that. Im sorry for the very long email. Thank you for your time and I hope this message finds you in peace.

    A:

    It sound like he should get some type of counseling or anger management. He may have had some type of trauma that is causing him to react this way. As for you, all you can do is move away from him when he is acting like this. Instead of staying and waiting for him to leave when he gets out of control, calmly say "I do not want to see you like this, so I am going to take a walk until you calm down." This will break up the pattern you are both on with this behavior. Give him lots of love and wait to express how you feel when you are both calmer. Forcing or pushing him to talk before he is ready may be a trigger that makes him feel angry and out of control. We recommend that you both agree to change your perspective on fighting. Recognize that fighting is only a perspective collision. Your goal should be to grow not to win when fighting or arguing. This will bring you closer when you argue instead of making you fight. You can also start working on your perspective about him. Start telling yourself wouldn't it be nice if he communicated with me and listened to my perspective when we disagreed. You have to see him how you want him to be before he can become what you want.

    Here is a link to an article we wrote on defusing arguments.
    http://www.lctv.com/2011/10/04/fight-to-grow-not-to-win
    You can also visit our website www.theamazingclarks.com to watch a video about fighting to grow as well.
    The Amazing Clarks
    Best of luck! Love and light to you both.

    Kind Regards,

    Melanie Clark r

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    Q: I find myself at my wits end, and need some advice. I'm in a relationship with a man who says he loves me and is in love with me, yet doesn't respect my feelings. We argue about several issues we have fundamental differences of opinions on. I'm 53, he's 45. I was married before, and have grown children. He's never been married and has no children. He and I argue most about his need to maintain friendships with women (platonic friends as well as women he had relationships with). He doesn't feel there's anything wrong with me not knowing them, and them not knowing about me, but not meeting me. Even his mother told him he should have them meet me. They are in contact often (phone and texts) and they go out to lunch. He thinks that as long as there's no sexual content in the messages or conversations that it's o.k. I check his phone - when I can - to see who he's calling and texting and have caught him arranging a date (which he did go on) with someone he met online and I saw a message from a women telling him how she woke up thinking about how great it would be to wake up in his arms every morning. I called the woman he went on the date with and the one who sent the text. He told me that she was someone he rented lot space from for some of his equipment. He also told me that he told his friends that they should send messages to his phone to upset me. He gets upset that I check his phone, but I just don't trust him. This evening when I came home, he was on Face-book's "Are you Interested?" He is also on other dating sites - holding himself out as an available man. He says that he doesn't respond to advances from women and I tell him he shouldn't be holding himself out as a man that's not in a relationship. I have asked him to remove himself from these sites - to no avail. I have told him to leave many times. I have taken his key away and given it back a couple of times. When he's away he begs to come back and then when I let him back in, the same behavior continues. He says that I'm controlling and possessive. His friends tell him that I'm insecure - but they only know his side of our story. We were in a restaurant one day and a woman slid in our booth and gave him a warm greeting and practically sat on his lap. As it turned out, this was his cousin's fiancé, who the cousin had sent over to our table because my guy had told his cousin that I was possessive. They all had a good laugh at this at my expense. I thought it was cruel. I feel like there is no hope for this relationship. It doesn't even feel like a relationship. He can be very loving and kind then become verbally abusive. He works a lot of hours and comes home late more of the time. Friday nights are devoted to a social meeting with his softball team and Saturday is devoted to his softball games and the after game social. I sometimes feel like I've made a huge mistake letting this man into my life and yet there are times when I really thing what we have is wonderful. I loved him, but at this point, I don't know how I feel about him. I'm confused, heartbroken, sad, depressed, and angry at myself for allowing him into my life. I think I should seek counseling for myself.

    A:

    It sounds like you are getting what you are focused on. He is being a match to what you believe he is. Relationships are a mirror. You are seeing exactly where you are when it comes to relationships. You are untrusting and insecure, so you attracted a partner that is a match to where you are. You have to work on yourself first. You cannot control him or prevent him from doing what he wants to do. If he is going to cheat he is going to cheat.

    Now you can either keep looking for it and making your self feel bad or you can stop worrying about what he is doing and clean up your own energy. You will attract this again and again if you do not clean it up in your energy first. It sounds like he does not trust you either. He knows you are insecure and controlling so he does not see a long term relationship with you so he is keeping his options open. This makes sense because why would he plan a life with someone that he can not get along with.

    As for you start getting a life. That means doing g things that you love! Find your passion. Become busy doing things that make you feel good. This will change your energy and help you attract more things that make you feel good. This guy will either get in alignment with your new energy or move on because he is no longer a match to you. Either way you win! You will be feeling good and doing things you love. This will make you more attractive and bring you some peace from the negative thoughts you are currently looping around on, which are making you feel really bad. Yes you could use some coaching. Visit our website for more details at The Amazing Clarks .

    Sending you love and light!

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    Q: I am beginning a career as an artist but I am a single mother. I have worked in many corporate offices as a temp. I have attempted attending schools for things I thought would make me money. I really want to be a successful artist but I also have to take care of my son and work on art and work on my freelance contracts. I do not make the money I want or live where I want to live yet. I help my mother with her bills, I buy groceries and cook for everyone, I work at my uncles center for children and out of an art gallery at the homeless shelter as well as attend courses regarding the art business. I am doing it all without acquiring debt but I would like to know if it sounds like I am doing enough. I live a very lonely life, no real friends, no boyfriend. The only "kicks" I get are smoking a little weed and drinking a little wine here and there. I take my son to school and pick him up daily. I made sure I got him into one of the top schools in my city I also try to teach him and read to him as much as possible and keep him out of trouble. It gets hard. How do I stay motivated? I think the thing that bothers me most is uncertainty and the lack of money I have right now. How do I get to the next level financially without acquiring debt or having to fight traffic and deal with crazy attitudes every day?

    A:

    I apologize for the very delayed response, we have been experiencing technical difficulties.  I first would like to commend you on your ability to prioritize in such an effective manner.  Your life sounds like one lived in great service to  and love of others.  However, it is also VERY important that you receive energy from others so that you do not become too imbalanced.  Balance in life is crucial in all things (spiritual, physical, cognitive, relational etc).

    Your loneliness is your heart's/spirit's way of asking for relational balance.  It will continue asking louder and cause difficulties in other areas of your life/being until you create this balance.  Your substance use (and thank you for your honesty) only temporarily masks the loneliness, but drugs can only make it worse.  You see, drugs block us from becoming skilled at creating healthy relationships because they numbs us by turning down the volume on our brain's natural pleasure-centers.

    Additionally; keep in mind:  Your first fruits are always to be consumed by YOU!  You must always place yourself first, even before your son.  In example:  Airlines direct you that in the event of trouble you are to place your own oxygen mask on first.  You can be of no use to your son if you are unconscious due to lack of oxygen.  Similarly, if you give all of your fruits to others, you will have no "seed" or energy to produce more fruit.  

    You must give to you first!  Then you have the energy to give to others.  It teaches others how to give to you, how to love you, how to respect you and your needs while giving them the opportunity to reciprocate by giving to you.  This is how we balance giving.  Don't worry if it feels selfish at first, it definitely will seem that way, to you and possibly others.  Its just the change of tides making everyone feel a bit uncomfortable - but this will balance out in time as you become  more skilled at receiving and feel more worthy of others' care .

    I realize you have asked several other questions, however I have addressed the one I feel will help unblock your energy and allow you to see that the answers to the other questions have always been right before you.  We are born with everything we need to accomplish our goals, we only need to focus on the proper utilization of these gifts and resources.  If you couple this skill with fearlessness and belief in oneself, you will win.

    This communication does not constitute a client/coach relationship.  This is for information purposes only.

    Life is simply beautiful! 

    Enjoy your Self!

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    Q: I just want to let you know how much I enjoy learning from your wisdom of herbs, as well as insight on other topics. I don't believe there is another site as knowledgeable about health as it pertains to Moors. I look forward to placing an order, and further contacting you in the near future.

    A:

    Thank you! So much! We really appreciate your words and hope that you will spread the word that such a site exists for Moors and other individuals who desire to attain real truth about health. Our motto is TELL 10 PEOPLE, AND HAVE THESE 10 PEOPLE, TELL 10 PEOPLE so the word will spread and grow. People can wake up to a truth they need to know. There is so much more to come to at Dherbs.com. Please stay tuned to Dherbs.com, and Thank You in advance for any order that you may place with us. Much obliged from the heart!

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    Q: I have questions about the full body detox. I guess I should start off by saying I was diagnosed, a little less than a year ago, with what doctors call MS. Needless to say that I rejected any form of meds offered. The whole situation is weird because none of the MS talk, thousands of spots on MRI (brain & spine), meds -sticking myself w/needles, steroids, etc. registered in my spirit. So I did a little research which led me to change my lifestyle (diet) and implement a vitamin regimen. I use to take ABT 20 vits/day of which I've now deceased to app. 10 vitamins that I believe directly relates to MS and I've been doing fine ever since. That's my story... I'm comfortable w/o a doubt with the path I've chosen and now feel its time to move to another level in my healing journey ? herbs. I've been in discussion with an experienced herbalist (of which I'm sure u know) who says he can cure MS which really doesn't matter to me because I believe only I can cure myself, but through discussions. I believe in the Quality of his herbs and methods and have decided to go to Honduras for a couple weeks (very pricey). Before committing to this, again, my spirit has led me to seek further. If one man can do this there must be another which led me to your website. Through reading numerous articles on your site I see we share some of the same philosophies and it's obvious that I'm in the searching, learning, growing phrase of the game while you have grown to heights I aspire to reach. As I search the site I found nothing that speaks to the Quality of your herbs besides being vegan. And I read your article...I'm not asking if it will work I'll be the judge of that, but I'm very concerned ABT what I put into my body and always have been just didn't possess the level of knowledge I now have;-) I would appreciate it if you could expound on this further. I don't know much ABT herbs, but I've been told that the potency of herbs can depend on where you obtain them, cultivated vs. uncultivated, manufacturing processes, etc. So if you could speak to the quality/potency of your herbs it will be greatly appreciated! While I desire a more cost effective healing journey by no means do I intend to sacrifice the quality of the method. Sorry I had to write a book!

    A:

    MS is easy to heal, but it will take more than changing one's diet and lifestyle. Thoughts, thinking, attitude, and outlook on life must also change!

    In re herbs, I don't have to deal with the potency or quality of Dherbs formulas. We use the BEST herbs available and we really do get our herbs from the countries we say they come from unlike other herbalists who are very convincing and charming when they speak, but which personal research will lead you to discover the truth that herbs allegedly coming from Africa are in fact coming from East Los Angeles, California.

    Ask for proof that herbs allegedly coming from Africa really are coming from Africa.

    I list every herb, essential oil, and crystal I use in my formulas; now inquire of Usha Research (Dr. Sebi) of what herbs he/they are using, not in the botanical language, but in their common names so the little man can understand what herbs he is taking and why he is paying the amount of money he is paying.

    Quality of herbs? I use divination in addition to the fact of knowing where the herb comes from and color, smell, and texture of herb for purposes of potency. Herbs coming from the East are the most potent; however, all herbs work and will work and that's a fact. Grafted plants? Any plant that has cultivated on Earth within 10,000 years is unnatural, to be technical!

    Honduras for healing? Planet Earth is a free will zone. We have choice. If you choose to go to Honduras and spend mucho dollars, have a good time. May you find the healing retreat you desire.

    I give Sebi props, because when it comes to herbs and biochemistry, the man is a giant, and very common sensical -- makes a lot of sense!

    These days it seems that people are contrasting Dherbs.com with Usha Research Institute (Dr. Sebi), but we are really on the same page; though there are a few differences. However, we are both doing the same thing; Dherbs is just doing it far cheaper while simultaneously providing the best herbs and more herbs in individual formulas.

    We are the BEST! New Body Products (Dr. Paul Goss), Fig Tree (Dr. Sebi), Nature's Sunshine, et al., are all good, but Dherbs is the best! We are more than an herb company. We help enlighten people the world over.

    In all due honesty, I would tell you to go Dr. Sebi's route since that's where your energy is. If you don't get the results you desire and/or your money runs short in dealing with him, Dherbs will be here for you offering a plethora of products no other herb company is offering. Plus, you'll be able to afford them!

    The Intra-cellular cleanser ($250) cannot come close to the world famous Full Body Detox ($120) and I stake my life on that claim and you can quote me on this!

    The proof is in the pudding! Read our testimonials!

    I apologize if I come off as arrogant. I really do! It's not arrogance, just SELF-CONFIDENCE!

    I applaud you for taking the path you have decided to take and I'm glad you have arrived at the herbs, the true physical medicine of man. Regardless of who's herbs you take, just take them (instead of man-made drugs/medicine).

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