2 encounters with pigs storys

[MATHYOU]

the first was at the high schoool football game
no....mathyou is still the same cheapskate bastard you
know and love....someone payed for mah 5 dollar ticket so
eye went....

so....the game was over....and eye was watching the marching
band perform rockin the Che Guevara olive green
army jacket, yellow and blue skully, flip flops and socks with mah arms
tucked in mah shirt cuz it was cold...and this pig walked up to eye self

PIG=what are you doing?

(om thinking to mah shelf "is this a trick question")

Mathyou=why are you ax'ing me that question?

(then theres a 10 second silence)

then eye looks at him and om like

"but eye love you though"

(mathyou got sumthing sweet in his life now
thats not digested in his stomach...well for the most part...lol)

then later  as om walking out the exit of the game
this high school student girl  eye know from da liebury runs out the crowd
and starts a conversation with mah shelf right in front of
the PIG.....and om dropping mathmatics on her and stuff
you know trying to get her on a afro centric diet and telling
her to stop straightening her hair...

story 2 comming soon

[MATHYOU]

2nd story...

eye rode mah bike up to trader joes which takes about 2 hours
round trip....and with mah left hand booh booh'd up it takes longer
than usual....

so eye finally get back to Axum and with mah booh booh
it puts extra pressure on mah backside so eye ride in the
street cuz the sidewalk bumps is hurtin mah backside.....

its nighttime.....and eye ride past a swine mobile

and eye hear the whomp whomp and they flash their light
but eye keep on riding because as far as eye know eye
haven't broken any laws......

so they eventually catch up to mah shelf and om on the sidewalk
by then.....

so they get out the pig mobile all aggitated and shit
its a male and a female pig

FEMALE PIG=why didn't you stop?

Mathyou=(makes a letter "C" with his hand) because of the
CONSTITUTION

(and really eye was being completely sincere.....eye had no
attitude and was being honest with them which is what they
claim they want from people....eye am a expert at being a smart
ass and eye know eye wasn't trying to be one)

female pig=okay....well you wanna get smart eh?  we will
cee how smart you are when we write you this ticket

(eye start thinking to mahself...."am eye gonna sign this ticket?
and are they gonna throw mahself in jail for not signing it?)

female pig=lemme cee your ID

Mathyou=eye don't carry an ID


FEMALE PIG=why not?

MATHYOU=the constitution

[MATHYOU]

(MISS Piggy gets even more aggitated)

MATHYOU=you want mah info? by the way whats your name
officer.....

FEMALE PIG=Officer Burns

Mathyou turns to the male pig=and whats your name

Male pig=mah name will be on the ticket...don't worry

(Mathyou rattles off his name, SSN, Address)

(Miss piggy goes into the car to run it)

MALE PIG=you wanna have an attitude huh?

MATHYOU=did eye brake any laws?

MALE PIG=yes...you need lights on your bike
to ride at night

MATHYOU=well...eye have been riding around here
for 20 years in the night time and never been stopped
before for that reason....eye will defineatly check the law books
tomarrow and cee if you are telling the truth...but eye didn't
know eye was breakingthe law...

Male pig=yes you check the law books....

to be continued.....