Alcohol and Sexual Suppression

I definitely loved the sista's break down. And my head is swimming with thoughts so I'll try to express as best I can. First, I'm so glad that she said some women get drunk in order to express their inner most sexual desires. And I was happy to read in brotha Curtis Duncan's reply that sometimes alcohol can open a woman up to unwanted sexual activity-ie rape. The law recognizes this as well. Just because a woman is drunk does not mean that she wants to have sex. Many men don't recognize this (and many don't care) and see's the woman's 'looseness' or her lowered inhibition as a green light and simply take what they want. I've seen this happen many times and have even experienced it in my younger years when I was too dumb to realize that men were getting me drunk in order to take advantage of me. Now, I realize that I attracted these situations, first of all being 'grown' underaged drinking around men. But also on a deeper level being raised in the church and feeling very guilty for my sexual desires, but even deeper having a desire to express them. Just all confused.lol So the alcohol basically brought all these conflictions to the surface, and bam I got some dude on top of me panting while I'm in and out of conciousness tryna figure out what the hell is going on. Then afterwards I'm full of even more guilt and now shame at what has occurred. And the cycle begins again. At least I learned. Whew! I'm glad that many women enjoy their drunken sexual exploits. I was not one of them. My most enjoyable sex by far has always been sober, with a man whom I deeply loved, respected and trusted. I'm fortunate enough to be able to open up like a book under these circumstances without the need for smoke nor drink.

Also, I wanted to say that although it is not healthy for a woman to suppress her sexual desires and urges, I don't believe that she should roll around with every man that turns her on. IDK everybody's different. I think that women being the emotional creatures we are and desiring a deep connection with those we 'let in' this can be extremely damaging. There are many women who purport to be able to have disconnected sex, but are we deluding ourselves? I think yes. Most of the women I hear say this have been hurt a few times by brothas hittin it and quittin it and now wish to do to them what has been done to her. Or use it as a defense mechanism, as in "he's not going to get the best of me....he thinks he's using me but Imma use him." Dangerous. Now you are expressing your sexual desires, yes, but you're simultaneously suppressing your emotions. Not good.

Like the author, though, I'm extremely happy that there's a shift toward women becoming more free with their sexual desires. I truly am. No longer will women be looked down upon for 'knowing what they want'. I think more than not wanting to seem easy, women want to be loved, honored, and respected, and that's where some of the inhibitions released by alcohol come into play. But we have to attract that type of man conciously. I still think we should cultivate our minds, emotions, and spirits, before we jump out there with wild sexual abandon begging to be tamed. lol Free your mind and yo ass will follow.