WARNING: This article contains sexually explicit language and content and is intended for mature readers only.
Many relationships end up in peril because the man simply has to know everything about the woman's sexual past (due to his insecurity and personal inadequacies), and in most cases the man can't handle the information or revelation the women conveys to him about her past.
 First of all, it's really none of his business. He perhaps didn't even know her back then so it really doesn't matter what she did or whom she did it with before she hooked up with him. The only thing that matters or should matter between the man and the woman (new couple) is their PRESENT or CURRENT relationship, the ideals they have in common and share, their compatibility, and sex life.
But too many times, a man will ask a woman what is really the wrong question to which he'll never receive the right answer to. He won't receive the right answer to his sexual inquiry because he wants an answer that soothes him, that doesn't deflate his sexual and masculine ego, that doesn't strike a blow to his already sexual insecurity, and that placates his anxiety.
Look men, it's none of your business how many blow jobs your woman gave to men before you. Just be happy you're receiving the blow job (fellatio) today!
It's none of your business who the first guy was that she blew or performed oral sex on. Just be glad and grateful she's licking and sucking on you TODAY!
It's none of your business if she has ever been with another woman. Just be glad she's with you TODAY!
It's none of your business if she was involved in a twosome (or threesome or foursome). Just be glad that you're in the twosome with yourself and her TODAY!
It's none of your business if she's ever been anally penetrated. If you're anal sexing her and she's letting you because she wants to, be glad and grateful that it's you she's letting hit the Hershey Highway.
Look, if you know in your heart of hearts that you can't handle certain answers, don't ask the questions in the first place. Be wise!
 If you can't handle the possibility or fact of her swallowing another man's cum (semen) in her past, simply don't ask the question!
If you can't handle the possibility or fact that she was involved in lesbian sex acts or had an affair with a woman, don't ask the question!
If you can't handle the possibility that she was a porn star, stripper, or a call girl in her past, then don't ask the question!
If you can't handle the possibility or fact that she engaged in anal sex in her past, don't ask the question!
If you can't handle the possibility or fact that she has had sex with numerous partners, 20, 30, or 40, and perhaps swung both ways, heterosexual and bisexual, simply don't ask the question!
If you can't handle the possibility or fact that she engaged in an orgy, don't ask the question!
If you can't handle the possibility or fact that she's had numerous abortions, then don't ask the question!
If you can't handle the possibility or fact that her last boyfriend's dick was probably bigger than yours, don't ask the question!
Don't ask what you don't want to hear! Plus, it's none of your business! Her past is none of your business just like your past is none her business. The past is the past, so just let it be. Focus on the present and that will take you into the future.
Also remember, people change! She is not the same person she was in her past just like you are not the same person you once were. We become a bit wiser and smarter with age and especially from our experiences, and females seem to get there faster than males. This is why around age 30 a woman is ready to settle down and do the marriage and family thing and men, many of them, in their 30s still want to play games.
 We, both males and females, do a lot of stupid, dumb, immature, and insalubrious things in our youth and days of unconsciousness. We've all made our mistakes and many of us have had sex with people under the wrong circumstances and for the wrong reasons and suffered the consequences of such action(s), i.e. drama, headaches, abortion, sexually transmitted diseases, fatal attractionism, or unwanted pregnancy.
I have noticed that most females, especially African-American and Caucasian American females, tend to have engaged in their most "outlandish" "freakish", "uninhibited" "wild" and "unconscious" sexual behavior from ages 15 to 30, which includes the college years. Those girls you saw in "Girls Gone Wild" were college girls. It's pretty much a known fact that girls be doing some wild stuff in college. The dudes too!
College spring breaks be wild as hell, especially in Florida. Black college students from traditional black colleges tried to copy the White college students and their ribald, risqué, and bacchanalian Gainesville, Florida spring break escapades with their "Freaknik" in Atlanta, Georgia, but authorities just couldn't handle the already problematic American black youth and Atlanta residents complained about the traffic jams during the bacchanalian event! Freaknik eventually ended up in Florida in Daytona Beach.
Most females you see in porno flicks today are between the ages of 17 and 25. Young girls tend to be more naïve and experimental, more adventurous and bold, but also unconscious. That's why you see them in the porno flicks doing all kinds of things.
So again, don't ask your new woman how many men she's been with sexually in her past, because like comedian Chris Rock said, whatever number she tells you is going to be too many for you! So don't ask! Just be glad she's fucking you TODAY!!!!
Like Jodi told Evette in the movie "Baby Boy" when she asked Jodi did he fuck her co-worker and like Jodi said to the effect, "Don't ask, girl, because you can't fuck with (handle) the truth, Evette!" Those were some real words Jodi spoke.
A lot of times insecure men want to hear the answer to their sexual inquiries so as to validate their fears they have of their partner. They are already insecure and feel inadequate, so many times they want to hear what they really don't want to hear, as strange as this may sound. They want to know her sexual past, but then again they really don't. But they ask because their minds are wrecked. Their minds run wild in imagination, wondering what kinds of things she did to men in her past: did she give head (fellatio), did dudes bend over in doggy style, did dudes ejaculate on her face, did she let dudes film her in the nude and/or sex act, etc. Imagination gets the best of them!
They'd like their fears and insecurities to remain undisturbed so they're hoping that the woman will tell them what they want to here: that she's a virgin, or only had one or two lovers, that she never gave head, that she never swallowed semen, that she's never been penetrated up the butt, that she's never been with more than one dude in the sex act, etc.
Listen up males, if and when a woman really trusts you and opens up to you, she will willfully, intentionally, and voluntarily tell you everything she wants you to know.
 But remember, she's telling you based upon trust and perhaps respect. She's not revealing her past to you so you can use it against her at some point in the relationship, i.e. future argument.
She's also not revealing her past information so that you can judge her.
A lot of times women have done sexual things in their past that they themselves don't feel good about and still harbor fear, guilt, shame, and grief over, so to reveal that past to someone they trust is liberating and removes a burden. It allows them to exhale. It's a chance to come clean, to give themselves up.
Plus, it's a chance for you to not have to hear about her sexual past from someone other than herself. She's giving herself up because she wants to. A lot of times when women give up all their past sexual 411 to you it's a statement that they trust you, that they want you to know everything, and that they want everything in the open - no secrets.
Another pointer for the young men out there is this: if your new woman performs some sex act on you that has never been performed on you before, NEVER ask her who was the first guy she performed the act on. See, the male mind works like this - whomever was the first guy a woman performed a particular sex act on, in the guy's mind, all he will see in his mind is his woman performing what she performed on him, being performed on some dude in the woman's past and the guy will foolishly be in competition with the dude from the past. He'll be in competition with an illusion.
Insecure men are in competition with dudes they don't even know. If their woman was with the dude, trust me, there's competition in the mind. This is why insecure men always have to ask their woman while in the sex act "Am I the best?" "Is it good, Baby?" "Am I hittin' it?" Silly questions by silly and insecure men.
So you see, they (insecure men) have to ask because they don't know. When you know you're the best you don't have to ask. You already know it and when you know and don't make a big deal about it, your woman will voluntarily and sincerely and genuinely tell you that you are the best and mean it! She'll tell you that you hit it real good and she'll be honest!
Just don't ask if you're the best! Don't ask her "Is this the best dick you've ever had" Be secure! Don't be childish and immature! Just focus on the sex act. Be there in the moment in the sex act. It's just you and her! There's no competition with some dude from her past! You're not in a fucking contest either! You're in an act with a woman you love and a woman who loves you. It's just the two of you. Never forget this fact!
In sex, be secure and your woman will pick up your energy/vibration. When you're secure she'll be secure. When you're secure in your sexuality as a man, she'll be secure in her sexuality as a woman and then the sex, lovemaking, and intimacy will really be off the chain!
Women like secure men, men who are secure within themselves, men who are secure emotionally, mentally, physically, and sexually.
BE SECURE!
Women, it is not wise to talk about your sexual past with an insecure man. Despite you really vibing and digging him and even being in love with him, you risk your relationship with this kind of man because he's so insecure, immature, and egotistical that he'll break up with you over your sexual past, what you did in it.
You see, to him, in his mind and based upon his beliefs, if you've been with 5 or more dudes in your lifetime, he may deem this too many dudes to have been with and thus, to him - you're a hoe or slut! Oh, and it won't matter how many females he's been with in his past. It's a double standard. Men can screw one hundred women and it's okay. The man is not a hoe or a slut. He's just being a man. But if a woman screws a bunch of men, she's a hoe and a slut. It's the typical "The man is a hero and the woman is a zero!"
And do not lie to him to please and inflate his warped ego. You don't want him thinking his sexual mediocrity is his best whereby he thinks there's no room for improvement and thus be stuck in a relationship whereby you're not sexually satisfied and you're always faking orgasms. You don't need to be with no dude whom you can't be honest with.
I'm dealing with so many females in consultations who are telling me how dudes are tripping, breaking up with them all over their past sexual history and life. This is a defect with the male, not the female. A lot of dudes feelings and ego are getting hurt over what a woman divulges of her sexual past and history.
If these dudes were smart, they would simply ask these females what do they like sexually so they can be informed and know what to do when it comes time to the sex act and lovemaking.
A guy, when the time is right (trust has been gained) should ask a woman what are her favorite sexual positions, what are her 'turn ons', what turns her off, what things are off limits during the sex act, what are her sexual fantasies, and what are her erogenous zones. These are safe and good questions to ask and they don't pry into her past. With these questions, you are asking her what she likes and not how many dudes she's had sex with in her past, what kind of sexual positions she engaged in with dudes in her past, how many dudes she gave head to, etc.
The above questions are 'safety zone' questions. Stay in the safety zone with your questions and you'll be all right.
 Everything I've said here and above pertaining to men can be flip flopped and pertain to women as well. There are just as many insecure women out there as there are insecure men. Everything above would apply to the insecure woman.
Men, that nice, sweet, beautiful, attractive female you just met and are going out with or perhaps have hooked up with already may have a past that may not reflect where she's at today. That nice, sweet, beautiful, attractive woman with that "good girl' aura may have been in some porn flicks. She may be very experienced in the sex act due to a voluminous amount of lovers and encounters. She may have even sold her vagina for money. She may have a couple of nudie pictures circulating out there. She may have participated in an orgy. She may have done some or all of these things in her past. Now, if any of the above just happens to be the case, the question is: are you man enough to accept that this may be her past, a past she may not be proud of and is ashamed and embarrassed of; a past she may be afraid to tell you about upfront for fear of judgment and losing you and the relationship. Can you handle the fact that the past is the past? She's a new woman and female TODAY! Can you accept this and move forward?
Thank you for reading!
This article is compliments of Dherbs.com.
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